(Closed) "Land Fund" instead of gifts….

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1159 posts
Bumble bee

@AmarilloByMorning:  I actually really like this idea. Personally, i have not mentioned gifts on my invites (In my culture, it is considered rude to ask for money etc) so we are just leaving it open to the guest to contribute what they want. But as a guest i would be more than happy to contribute to the purchase of something so useful. I don’t think it is tacky and i think it is actually quite sensible.

Post # 4
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Registries are bad enough when they’re for regular gifts. Weddings aren’t fundraisers – let people give you something they’ve chosen if they want to.

Post # 5
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@oneofthesethings:  “weddings aren’t fundraisers”

Well said. I would not contribute to this especially as I wouldn’t even be invited to the wedding, just a semi-reception.

Post # 6
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t see this situation as a “fundraiser.” OP specifically stated that she didn’t want gifts, but if people felt obligated to give one then she would like for the money to go toward something she could actually use. Personally, I would love to help my friends realize their dreams. It would be so much more meaningful than buying a set of plates or linens.

That being said, I don’t think a registry or anything along that vein is really appropriate if guests are not invited to the ceremony. 

Post # 7
8731 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it would be rude to mention anything given the situation of the event. Just don’t register and if anyone asks say you are saving to buy a house.

Post # 8
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

IMO, a land fund would be tacky.  Look, people aren’t stupid, they know that money is always appreciated.  But asking for cash is always rude (at least in the US) and dressing it up as a “land fund” doesn’t make it any better unfortunately.  What you can do is not register and tell people, when they ask, that you aren’t registered but are saving up for some land.  They will get the hint.

Post # 9
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

You could try something like this: http://www.hatchmyhouse.com

Similar to a honeymoon registry.

Post # 10
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would just not register and tell close family and friends to spread the word that you’d like cash. That’s what we did.

Post # 11
4367 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Since these people aren’t invited to your wedding I wouldn’t do any kind of registry, land fund or otherwise.

Post # 12
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have to agree that most people are smart enough to know that people like cash.  Especially if you don’t have a physical gift registry, that’s kind of the assumption unless you’re just someone who’s really opposed to giving cash (in which case any sort of cash “registry” won’t dissuade them). 

We had a small registry, and maybe 5 people picked stuff off it for the wedding.  Everybody else gave cash.  Only when directly asked what we liked did we specifically mention saving up for a house.

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