Post # 1
I KNOW this is a sensitive subject; however, I need and want ideas. My fiancé and I are both almost 30 years old. We are both established in our personal and professional lives. We are having a very small ceremony (8 people total). Afterwards, we are going to throw a big party for our friends and family; definitely not your typical reception. There won’t be a first dance or cutting the cake or throwing the bouquet; we just want everyone to come together to celebrate our marriage. I also do not want to have a bridal shower. We have enough stuff to furnish 2 houses; combined we own 3 houses! We also do not think anyone should feel obligated to buy us a wedding gift! However, I know many people believe it is necessary to give the bride and groom a gift. I don’t want to return or re-gift things we don’t need, LOL! Our ultimate goal and dream is to purchase a home with several acres in the country. I was thinking about opening up a “land fund” at a local bank for anyone who felt like they needed/wanted to give us a gift. Is this tacky? Comments, Questions, Concerns…..
Post # 3
@AmarilloByMorning: I actually really like this idea. Personally, i have not mentioned gifts on my invites (In my culture, it is considered rude to ask for money etc) so we are just leaving it open to the guest to contribute what they want. But as a guest i would be more than happy to contribute to the purchase of something so useful. I don’t think it is tacky and i think it is actually quite sensible.
Post # 4
Registries are bad enough when they’re for regular gifts. Weddings aren’t fundraisers – let people give you something they’ve chosen if they want to.
Post # 5
@oneofthesethings: “weddings aren’t fundraisers”
Well said. I would not contribute to this especially as I wouldn’t even be invited to the wedding, just a semi-reception.
Post # 6
I don’t see this situation as a “fundraiser.” OP specifically stated that she didn’t want gifts, but if people felt obligated to give one then she would like for the money to go toward something she could actually use. Personally, I would love to help my friends realize their dreams. It would be so much more meaningful than buying a set of plates or linens.
That being said, I don’t think a registry or anything along that vein is really appropriate if guests are not invited to the ceremony.
Post # 7
I think it would be rude to mention anything given the situation of the event. Just don’t register and if anyone asks say you are saving to buy a house.
Post # 8
IMO, a land fund would be tacky. Look, people aren’t stupid, they know that money is always appreciated. But asking for cash is always rude (at least in the US) and dressing it up as a “land fund” doesn’t make it any better unfortunately. What you can do is not register and tell people, when they ask, that you aren’t registered but are saving up for some land. They will get the hint.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
You could try something like this: http://www.hatchmyhouse.com
Similar to a honeymoon registry.
Post # 10
I would just not register and tell close family and friends to spread the word that you’d like cash. That’s what we did.
Post # 11
Since these people aren’t invited to your wedding I wouldn’t do any kind of registry, land fund or otherwise.
Post # 12
I have to agree that most people are smart enough to know that people like cash. Especially if you don’t have a physical gift registry, that’s kind of the assumption unless you’re just someone who’s really opposed to giving cash (in which case any sort of cash “registry” won’t dissuade them).
We had a small registry, and maybe 5 people picked stuff off it for the wedding. Everybody else gave cash. Only when directly asked what we liked did we specifically mention saving up for a house.