(Closed) Large wedding vs small.. without offending anyone?!

posted 10 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you do the small one, you should not only have it photographed but also have it filmed so you can play it at the BBQ. 

Post # 4
47432 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have the wedding you want to have in your heart of hearts.

Determine what your budget is.

Craft your wedding in terms of the available budget.

Post # 5
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would do what you want to do and have the smaller wedding…it’s your day!  As long as you have the important people in your life there it seems like you will be happy.

Post # 6
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

OMG!!! I am so glad you posted this because I was about to ask the same question from our fellow bee’s.  I as well am at a total loss.  His family wants a huge $20,000.00 to do with every one hes ever met in his entire life there, and I would be more than content with a back yard wedding and burgers on the grill.  I could cut my guest list to 20 and thats pushing it, and he could easily create one thats 300 with out blinking.  I think that budget is the number one thing.  I do not wnat a big wedding i never ever have.  I would love nothing more than to spend no more than $1500.00 on my entire wedding.  Now if only him and his family would agree. 

I say if your heart says keep it small keep it small.  do what you want, not what they want you to do.  What will you be the most happy with the next day?

Post # 7
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I come two large families + extended family! And we love them all but also dont want to go into debt over one DAY!

We went venue hunting the first time with a guest list of 120! 

That day ended BAD and with a HEADACHE! 

I found our dream venue and couldnt afford it.

Second time we went venue hunting we wanted to see some pricing for a SMALL wedding of 75 in DECEMBER, we saved more than $20/person and were able to get the TOTAL price almost HALF due to our cutting our guest list and picking a discounted Month! 

Make sure you see ALL your options!

I seriously sat down and thought if I were to die tomorrow, who would come to my funeral! And I wrote those people’s names down! We had 80 people! 

Post # 8
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My Fiance and I had a similar situation. We both want a small wedding (because of budget and like you I wasn’t the young girl who dreamed of a big wedding) but of course we got the weird looks from both our families and rather than having our intimate wedding of 45 to 50 people we are now up to 76 (including us). I’m alright with the number of people but we set a rule amongst ourselves and parents that if we haven’t seen the people they want to invite in the past 6 months they will not be included. If we didn’t do that we would have had at least 40 more people. Anyway my point is (lol) do what you want! If you want to have a small wedding and only want to invite people who are closest to you do it!! Do what makes both you and your fiance happy! 



Post # 9
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

a not-so-close friend of mine recently had a small wedding and invited only a core group to the ceremony & dinner. my Fiance and I were invited for cake and drinks only. the invitation was worded: “join us for cake, drinks and dancing”

I was very understanding of the situation and was not offended at all. if she had invited everybody to dinner, it would have been huge!  I thought it was a very elegant solution to include a big group of friends w/o spending too much!

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