Post # 1
I’m just curious…
We sent an invitation for our reception, which is formal, to DH’s cousin and her husband. The inside envelope clearly stated Mr. and Mrs. Last Name… No “and guest” or “and family”. So the invitation was for two people… When we got it back, she had 7, yes, seven people, on response card!
I looked on her facebook, and it appears she has three daughters, two of which are married, so I’m assuming she invited her daughters and their husbands WITHOUT checking if it was okay.
She also returned her response card a week late. We don’t have her phone number, but her sister told us that she and her husband were attendings, so we counted her as two guests. Now we have to tell her that we’ve already turned in our final count and that we can’t add five extra people.
We were just floored when we saw 7 on the response card rather than the 2 we were expecting. Really? Who does that??????? DH was pissed (can I say that on a public board?)!
I’m just wondering if anyone else experienced such a large number of uninvited guests on a single response card.
Post # 3
I am terrified of this!!!
Post # 4
Wow, that’s both crazy and scary at the same time!
PS-I am so excited for your reception 🙂 Your wedding was so special I can’t wait to see pics of your reception!
Post # 5
@Loribeth: I’ve gotten 3 … but your situation is what my nightmares are made of! Good luck with this!
OMFG – Who got 10+?!
Post # 6
I read a post the other day where the (estranged) father invited 11 extra guests!
Post # 7
I had this exact same thing happen to me. I invited a family friend from my husbands side to our wedding. When we recieved the RSVP back it was for 7!!! She had invited her married children! I was floored and mad. Then they didnt even come to the wedding at all which made me even more upset. I consider this extremly rude.
Post # 8
i have been very blunt with people, screw etiquette that says i need to ‘hint’ and politely ‘imply’ how many guests are invited. i told them that because i am only having a disney Escape wedding, i am only allowed to have 18 guests and we have already filled it. i said that if they want to bring other people or (for those who can’t come) invite themselves, they can fork over the money to upgrade my wedding to a Wishes wedding (no guest limit).
Post # 9
That is just crazy and rude. I can almost see adding 1 person but 5!!!
We haven’t had any of this happen, but still have lots of rsvp’s to get back.
Post # 10
I know! It’s as though she got the invitation and said “Oooh! free meal for my whole family!” and invited them. We’re still trying to get her phone number. Darling Husband says we have to count the 5 extra, but I don’t want to. That means another table, another center piece, eight more place settings, more alcohol, more food… We’re looking at an additional $200 because of 5 extra guests.
@SoontobeMrsA: That is so sweet of you to say! I really hope the reception lives up to the wedding!!
Post # 11
We had a couple other people who added 1 each–all of them from DH’s side of the family, none from mine. However, Darling Husband admitted that my family has probably attended more formal events than his has.
Right now Darling Husband is explaining to his Aunt the logistical problems of having 5 uninvited guests… Fortunately, she understands and is going to explain it to her daughter… I think…
Post # 12
Yeah, I really don’t understand when people do this! Especially with adult children- etiquette says that if a child has moved out, they get their own invitation. So, if you *were* inviting them, then they should have gotten their own invite!
We had a few “write ins”… The most frustrating one for me was from DH’s parents. They just included his sister’s boyfriend on the RSVP without asking. The thing is, had they come to me and said “Hey, is this ok?” I would have been fine with it- she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, they’ve been together for over a year (they’re 17, but still), and their family helped pay for the wedding.
But, it just irked me that they didn’t bother to check first!
We didn’t have any huge write-ins, but there were several small write-ins that still irked me…
Post # 13
She really should have known better. Even if it wasn’t etiquette that adult children get their own invitations, she should have known that she shouldn’t invite a bunch of people to a wedding recepetion without checking to see if it’s okay first at the very least.
I mean, don’t you think she should know that seven people is extreme? If everyone we invited thought responding 7 people was okay, we could have easily had close to 500 people coming to the reception, which is 400 more than we can afford–350 more than our hall can hold!!! At $40/per person, that would cost $20,000, which is $16,000 more than we had in the budget!!! Even if we only got one extra person for every invitation sent, that would be an additional $2,800.
It just seems like common sense that you would know that as a guest you don’t get to determine how large the guest list is even if you are asked how many on the RSVP card. Wedding invitations are not “Open” invitations, and even the most casual wedding has a budget and set guest list.