Post # 1
Talking about traditions in this country……. How many of you changed your last name to his? I didn’t take his last name and he gets teased. Honestly Darling Husband dones’t care at all and he dind’t even argue about it when I told him I was keepig my last name. Other people have told me they didn’t want to change it but they did it bc their SO was so upset about it or family members etc. Did you change your name or not? Tell us why you did or didn’t ……. 🙂
Post # 3
I didn’t change it. It goes against my feminist instincts to change my identity because I’m married. My decision bothered Darling Husband more than he thought it would, but he’s hasn’t been pushy about it.
Post # 4
I’m not going to change my name. I’m a strong feminist and while I think every woman needs to make a decision based on what’s right for her, I wouldn’t chnage my name. I’m the same person before and after marriage, therefore I keep my name. My Fiance completely agrees with me and is 100% supportive 🙂
Post # 5
Darling Husband didn care, but I did, as “feminist” as I am, I am a fan of tradition. Whether it is decorating a christmas tree a certain day of the year or taking his name, I am a fan of it.
I am confident enough in myself to be able to take another name without feeling it changes me. But to me because I know its tradition that would expected by many, I was happy to abide by it. I had no intetion of breaking the tradition in my family or his, although I suspect no one would care either way.
I do think that unless is a professional reason, its a bit over the top to not take his name. I, personally, do not think it has anything to do with identity or feminism, its purely tradition and respect. Just like its tradition that a guy hold the door for a woman, stand when she stands at a table, etc. There are certain things I like purely because its tradition and respect.
EDIT: I also see it as a gift to my husband and if need be something I can remove. I think its kind of like a contract. I take your name and we are a team. If I remove it (divorce) we not longer are.
Post # 6
I’m a feminist too but that is just part of the reason why I didn’t change it. Why do I have to go through all that trouble anyways? I would be myself even if I had a number instead of a name but I just think name changing is not necessary these days although I respect everyone’s opinions on the topic. Everyone does it or doesn’t do it for different reasons.
Post # 7
I voted yes, however, there were some stipulations. I hyphenated hisname-myname because he hyphenated right along with me. I disagree that unless professional reasons preclude it, one should just change to him. I told him if he was so inclined, he could change to my name, but to be honest, I told him I wasn’t changing if he wasn’t; that I was fine with keeping my name and him keeping his (and when we had children, we’d discuss: they would not just have gotten his name). It was his idea to hyphenate together, because he wanted to have a joint/family name. And almost every reaction we’ve gotten about it has been completely positive!
Post # 8
I’m a bit of a feminist too, and I’m only changing my name because I hate it and it reminds me of my biodad.
Post # 9
I hate my name but it’s mine and has been for a long time, so I saw no reason to give it up. I would have hyphenated if my husand also did, but he didn’t want to. We’ll fight about the kids’ names when they come. 🙂
My husband is annoyed I didn’t take his name, but since he didn’t change his name either, he’s got no leg to stand on in arguing it with me.
Post # 10
Am not married yet but right now i definitely don’t want to change me last name. If me and my Fiance decide to have children, I may have to change my last name just for them. But for now I will remain as I am..I don’t see a reason why I should change my identity. It should go both ways so if he wants to hyphenate his last name to mine then I’m all for it 🙂
Post # 11
I am actually EXCITED to change my last name! my current last name is SO hard for people to pronouce! I love his last name! I am totally going to change my last name!!! I would consider putting my last name as my sons middle name if it wasnt so….. hard to pronounce! just to keep it in the family…. but I guess I am a bit of a girlie traditionalist when it comes to this stuff. I really want to name our son if we have one his middle name, which is his dads name, it is so uncommon for our generation…. but i am concerned its going to become popular as a new TV show one of the main characters name,… thats okay! I like it! 🙂
Post # 12
I changed my name because it was important to my husband but I did keep my last name as well.
Post # 13
None of the above. I’ll be changing my name because I want to. Not because it’s “traditional” or means we’re a real family. I might move my maiden name to my middle because I don’t think my middle name is as formal as I would like.
Post # 14
@drainalove: I’m going to and I can’t wait to be a MRS! 🙂
Post # 15
I’m not going to as I’m a veterinarian so I use it professionally. Interestingly enough, both my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law kept their maiden names. FH doesn’t care that much, thankfully. I’m sure I’ll get called Mrs FH anyway…
Post # 16
@live laugh love: Thank you! Finally someone else excited about it!
I don’t like my last name, at all. (it’s a family thing, long story)
I was going to change it including my mom but the fee’s here and then it might cause a problem with anything she may give me through her passing (we talked about it a lot)
But we decided not to change it because of problems and I am excited to have his last name, not just because I don’t like my last name but because I love him and want his last name, would even if I liked my last name. I don’t see a problem with changing your last name as others seem to but maybe that’s just me.