(Closed) Last (and most awkward) premarital counseling!

posted 8 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Well, when you are both virgins (FI and I are too)  some amount of awkwardness and embarassement is gonna happen.  And it is better to happen sooner, rather than all happening on the wedding night.  So the more you can talk about it now, the better.

Post # 4
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think it’ll probably actually be not that bad! Imagine how awkward it would be if you were NOT virgins! You’re doing right by the rules of the church so at least you have that on your side, right? And I am sure that the pastor has a ton of experience with this and knows how to make it not super awkward. 

Post # 5
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

just remember that your pastor has talked about this with many many couples before and this is not new or weird to him. Of course there will be some level of awkwardness, but I think it helps to remember the person you are speaking to is well rehearsed in these types of topics.

Post # 6
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I completely agree w/ CorgiTales. Plus, if you’ve been comfortable with the pastor up to this point, there’s nothing to worry about. Our pastor never actually asked us if we were virgins, or talked about specifics. He just talked about the importance of the wedding night, what it symbolizes, and that we should put God front and center in all aspects of our relationship, including intimacy.

 

Post # 7
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

The pastor may also talk with you about family planning.  I’m sure you’ll be a-o-k! 

P.S. Good for you that you both have waited until marriage!  I sometimes wish I would’ve.  People could have called me the “Almost 40-year old Virgin”!  lol 

Post # 8
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Remember you can always say you don’t want to talk about something. I mean, I don’t think your pastor will ask you details on the nitty gritty, but if things get too personal, just decline to answer.

Post # 9
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Whew soo glad I’m not doing counselling! Couldn’t bare him to say sex and god in the same sentence!

Post # 10
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

I don’t THINK our counseling will involve this, but since I don’t have my v-card but my fiance does, I dread the idea that it might come up in front of the pastor in counseling…it’ll be okay! Less embarassing/scary that you can both say you’re virgins, in my opinion.

Post # 11
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@CorgiTales: yeah ditto this!

Reading the title, I thought this post was going to be about how you have NOT been abstaining… I’m sure it will be not nearly as bad as you think!

Sex is a really important part of marriage, so I think it will be interesting to see what your church has to say/teach about it. Be proud that you’ve upheld your values regarding sex and try not to be embarrassed to talk about it! Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

In our pre-marital counseling material they talk more about how important it is to have kids than about sex. It says it’s important then heads straight for verses about how children are a blessing and we should all be fruitful.

I think I would have rather it talked about sex, since Fiance and I aren’t planning on having children and I find the whole argument thin and silly. Kids are great but I don’t think that if you don’t want them you’re going against God.

Anyway, I agree with what someone above said. The more you talk about it with your Fiance the less awkward it will be on the wedding night. I totally get that it’s weird with a pastor there, but I highly doubt he’ll get into any awkward details.

As long as you know your answers for family and birth control and stick to them you should be fine.

Post # 13
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Is there an update! Was it as embarrassing as you expected? 🙂

Post # 15
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MissMeg:  HAHAHA!!  I’m dying over here!!  Well, it sounds like everything went well and I’m glad you got someone who was able to make jokes! 

Post # 16
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

I’m happy that is over too (and I wasn’t even involved)!  I’m glad it wasn’t as bad as what you were expecting.  But, for me, I’m a little taken back by how blunt he was…blood, anal sex, etc.  WOW!  If you don’t mind sharing, what type of pastor/minister was he (i.e. faith)?

The topic ‘Last (and most awkward) premarital counseling!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors