(Closed) Last minute drop out – heard through the grapevine – WWYD?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you called the cousin to express your sympathy at the loss of her mother? If you phone her, maybe she will raise the issue of the wedding.

Post # 4
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Nic01:  I would definitely confirm with her somehow… Even a text saying what you said or something similar with ‘is that the case?’ that might give her a chance to explain. Then leave it at that 🙂

Post # 5
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Nic01:  I don’t know all the family arguments/drama, but if it were me, I would just accept that she is not attending the wedding. If her mom just died then I’m sure she is dealing with a lot right now. I don’t think I would take it personally. If you want to text her what you wrote above – sorry you can’t make it, we will miss you – that would be fine. 

Post # 7
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Nic01:  I would assume that she has dropped out and text her to say you are sorry she will not be able to make but you totally understand why she is no longer attending. And you could perhaps invite her via the text to call you if she would like to talk? I just know that I am not big on talking on the phone so I’d prefer a text in a situation such as this with an option to call them later on my own time when I felt well enough.

If she does decide to change her mind and come then venues normally don’t have a problem adding an additional person on. Mine told me that the ‘final number’ I give them is the the minimum I will be charged for and that it was no problem to add on a few more if I needed to after the deadline.

Post # 8
7580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If it’s just one person, I’d set a place for her anyway. Let her know that you know her mind is elsewhere and that it might not be great timing for her but if she wants to join you, she’s welcome. It only costs a little in the grand scheme of things and despite your past conflicts with the cousin, it could be the most loving gesture anyone makes during her time Of mourning. If she decides she’d like to get out for a bit and celebrate love instead of mourning her loss, you wouldn’t want the catering numbers to be what stops her.

Post # 10
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

you need to confirm with her whether you make the call/text or your Fiance.

unfortunately last minute drop outs and no shows are gonna happened.. just gotta learn how to handle it…

we had we had 10 totla that rsvp yes and did not show or cancelled last minute.. 

some gave reasons, some didn’t give one at all..

just gotta keep it cool

Post # 11
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You should always confirm. I would definitely call if this is important to you. It won’t be very awkward if you say “This is what I heard, is it true?” Make sure she knows you understand. Don’t get too down on yourself about it–she’s going through a rough time. 

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