Post # 1
I need some advice ladies! Our wedding is 5 days away, and I just spent this last weekend finishing my DIY seating chart. All the RSVP’s were in, or so I thought. Until my sister called me about an hour ago and asked if it would be okay if she brought a date to the wedding.
A little background for you… She has been “seeing” the guy (her words) for about 1-2 months. He really likes her but she won’t commit to even calling themselves “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” Now she wants to bring him to the wedding!
Technically, I invited her + guest, because when invites went out 2.5 months ago, she was still seeing an old boyfriend of 1+ years. They officially broke up shortly after, and she went back to dating. I’ve met this date she wants to bring once. He seems like a really nice guy, but I just don’t know if I want him at the wedding.
I guess I’m not too concerned about the seating chart, since I can’t redo it. My sister is part of the wedding party, so he obviously can’t sit with her. I do have an empty seat with some cousins of ours where he could sit for dinner. But who will he sit with for the ceremony? And where will he go while us girls are getting ready for the wedding? And what will he do while we are taking wedding party pictures? He won’t know a soul besides my sister…
But more than anything, I’m feeling a little selfish! My sister even told me herself, she’s excited about the wedding because it is like a big going-away party for her since she is spending this fall abroad for college and it will be her last hurrah with friends and family. So I know that her decision to invite him is purely for her. But afterall, the wedding is about my fiance and I. We don’t know him, his presence will mean nothing to us…
Do I make my sister happy and let him come? Or do I tell her no, and that it’s too late? Am I being too selfish? Any advice? Anyone else have a last minute guest request? How did you handle it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
Ooo, this is tough. Are you and your sister close? Have you met this guy and hung out with him at all? Those are two of the criteria I’d look at to help make the decision!
Post # 4
Honestly I would just let him come. It’s your sister’s problem where he sits at the ceremony, what he does while you’re getting ready, etc., not yours. It would make your sister happy, and really wouldn’t impact your day at all :o)
Post # 5
So her previous +1 isn’t coming? I say invite him and make your sister happy. If it were anyone else besides your sis, be selfish and say no, but you don’t want to deal with a pissy BM/sister all day! He can entertain himself!
Post # 6
Nope, her previous 1+ yrs boyfriend isn’t coming.
My fiance and I have met him once, when the four of us hung out for a couple hours, along with one of my sisters other friends.
Post # 7
I would let her come especially since when she did have a boyfriend you were going to give her a +1. And for the ceremony/cocktail hour, I wouldnt worry yourself with who he will sit near/talk to. He will understand that by coming to the wedding he wont know anyone and he will probably start small talk with people he sits with. If it were anyone else I would say no, but since its your sister I would let her bring him.
Post # 8
I’d let him come. She’s your sister and you have an extra seat for him. Keep the family happy-you don’t need any drama this week.
Post # 9
Ask your sister if she would like him to come, and if he can handle being on his own for a lot of the day (since your sister will be busy!). Remind her that he’ll be in all the pics and you’d like to always remember the day that you celebrated with family and loved ones.
When my sister got married back in 2006, I had been dating a guy for about a year. He wanted to attend the wedding (for his own selfish reasons) and I was ready for him to come. My sister asked me these same questions, and I realized I DIDN’T want him there! We broke up before their wedding.
Post # 10
I would just let him come with her. It will be her problem to figure where he sits and keep him entertained. And besides that you won’t talk to your sister much that day once the ceremony gets started. I hardly talked at all to my brother/and SIL (and I was MOH) once the wedding started. They were busy greeting other people and I was busy covering their tracks and catching people they couldn’t make the rounds to talk with.
Post # 11
Now that’s annoying. I know how you feel. My sister is the maid of honor and if she wanted to bring someone I didn’t even know, I would be pissed. But, she is part of the bridal party and I feel like they should be able to bring a date since they’ve done so much for us. Just have a talk with her and make sure she does her sisterly/bm duties and to not be busy entertaining her guest.
Post # 12
Yes, definitely let her bring a date. You never know if she has a tinge of ‘I wish that was happening to me’, and I think having a date will make her feel less of the ‘single’ sister. But, besides that, don’t worry about the fact that you haven’t met the guy, etc etc. I think it’s great you have a spot with him and the cousins and I’m sure he can figure out how to entertain himself while your sister is doing bridal party stuff. It sounds perfect that logistically it will work out on such short notice.
Have a great weekend 🙂
Post # 13
I would let him come… its your sister after all.
Post # 15
You’ve got space for him. Why be remembered as the selfish bride? This act of generosity will commend you in the eyes of your relatives forever.
Post # 16
Oh, I know that’s annoying! But, if he doesn’t mind sitting with people he doesn’t know, I say let him come. You want to be your happiest self on your wedding, and you would probably be happier if your sister wasn’t upset with you. I hope everything works out!