last-minute hen's do (high tea/spa day) – who to invite?

posted 10 months ago in Parties
Post # 2
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

I haven’t heard of a hen do but it sounds like fun! 

I’d stick to close friends & family that you interact with daily/more often. I doubt cousins who aren’t close with your FH will be offended. As far as the stepmom situation, I am unsure because I see both sides. Maybe run it by your FH and see what he would suggest and then run it by your Future Mother-In-Law. 

Oh, I would invite my grandmother, she is nearly deaf & shy but would love tea and enjoy being apart of the festivities! 

Post # 3
5929 posts
Bee Keeper

Is this a psuedo bachelorette party? I wouldn’t invite random aunts, only your nearest and dearest. 

Post # 5
2997 posts
Sugar bee

futuremrscaribou :  I think if there may be tension between mom and step mom then i would skip step mom, especially if it seems you and your Fiance are not close to her. 

As for everyone else, that sounds good. I would invite grandmother to the tea portion and then maybe just the youngins head out for cocktails (unless Gma wants to join, too!) as for aunts, if you are close with them, but i wouldn’t invite ALL aunts just because. This is about YOU, you don’t have to host every female in his (or your) family.

I had my sister, 3 cousins, couple friends, Mom, 1 aunt and 1 great aunt for the first portion of my bachelorette and then my mom and aunts went home and it got a little crazy :p 

Post # 7
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

A hens party is the equivalent a bachelorette party in UK,  Australia and New Zealand 

Post # 8
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

If it’s equal to a bachelorette party (but without male strippers and alcohol like you say lol) then I would invite: 

1) Yourself, of course, your mom, and any of your sisters and/or sisters-in-law

2) Females in the bridal party (aka, bridesmaids)

3) All living grandmothers

4) Groom’s sisters/sisters-in-law, as you mentioned

5) Mother-in-law, stepmothers-in-law, if applicable.

With the caveat that we should always be wise with inter-person tensions!!

I have a hunch that this will be far more mature and matronly than your traditional American bachelorette party. Traditionally, we don’t invite grandmothers to bachelorette parties and usually it’s JUST the bridesmaids, but you seem to have a different situation. I would invite who I listed above if I was using my family 🙂 

Post # 10
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

futuremrscaribou :  That’s super wise! I think I would do something really laid-back and mature like that if our grandmothers lived closer! I love them and wish they could be more involved! 

I think if you just keep it light and casual there is zero way it will be a bad experience, even if there is tension between some people 🙂 But I don’t know the depth of any tension! 

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