(Closed) Last minute shower to invite, would you be offended?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I would wonder why I’m not invited in the first place. If I really meant something to you, then you would’ve invited me regardless of money. But at the same time, I would want to have fun and go to the shower. I would debate on whether to bring a gift, and probably opt no, but I wouldn’t be extremely angry. It just depends on the relationship I have with you.

Post # 4
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I invited a friend last minute to my wedding because someone cancelled. She was not someone I was super close to (she’s actually a friend’s roommate), but she knew a lot of people at the wedding. At first I felt bad, but her response put me at ease—“free booze and dinner? count me in!”

However, I worry that it’s a little different for a shower.  Are you planning on inviting these women to the wedding? If so, why didn’t you invite them to the shower?  I also wonder why you are getting involved in the inviting for your shower; perhaps whoever is hosting it (your MOH? mom?) has a friend who would appreciate the free meal. 

Post # 5
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i would definitely be offended.  it might be different it if was a wedding, but people don’t typically jump at the chance to go to bridal showers

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Are these two people invited to the wedding? If they are not, do not invite them to the shower.

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would never be upset about not being invited to someone’s shower. I personally think they are a HUGE pain in the butt, a full day commitment for an activity that is only fun for one person (the bride) and a strain financially since you are now basically buying two wedding presents isntead of one. What makes me upset is when I am invited to someones shower but NOT the bachelorette party. That is such a slap in the face, the bride is basically telling me that I’m only worth my extra gift but when it came down to factoring me in to the dinner/drinks/fun portion that was too exclusive to include me.

Post # 7
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

How close are you to these guests?  Are they invited to the wedding?  And is the shower relatively intimate otherwise?

I guess I wouldn’t mind so much because you told them no gifts. That being said, I would still feel obligated to get you a gift because it’s super awkward to go to a shower without one.

Post # 8
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

I could understand being offended, since the purpose of a shower is to bring gifts and it’s not considered polite to show up without one! I was invited to a wedding at the last minute because of cancellations and the $100 a plate cost, and I thought it was tacky to ask me as a last resort (not to mention, who doesn’t invite close family members to their large, lavish, in-town wedding? and then attends my wedding with no gift…tacky)

Post # 9
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

@moderndaisy:  I never thought about this.  If I were a friend of the bride I would think it strange not to be invited to the brette party.  That is, unless the party was super small and limited to bridal party members.

Post # 10
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would do it, but invite someone I knew what easy going.

Post # 11
Member
23 posts
Newbee

I wouldn’t be offended, but I also probably wouldn’t go. I hate showers and the last minute invite would be a great reason to decline.

Post # 12
Member
4159 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I absolutely HATE last minute invitations.  I would not attend if I got a last minute invite even though it’s a free meal and no gift is expected (I’d still feel obligated to bring one.)  I’d wonder why I wasn’t “good enough” to be invited in the first place. 

Sorry that’s not meant to be rude to you, it’s just what I would do if I got an invite from someone, which I have had to do before.

Post # 13
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m not sure if I would be offended but I wouldn’t go. I would feel compelled to buy a present because who wants to be that girl that didn’t bring a gift and it would irritate me that I felt I was only there so the host didn’t have to eat the cost of something. I would understand more if it were a last second wedding invite but this is a shower where the purpose is to give the bride a present.

Post # 14
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would probably not accept the invite.

 

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