(Closed) Last minute Vegan – help

posted 5 years ago in Food
Post # 2
8961 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

BizzzzyBee:  “I’m so sorry Auntie, we’ll miss you!”

Post # 3
992 posts
Busy bee

BizzzzyBee:  Yikes. How much do you actually want this aunt there? If not having her in attendance would negatively detract from your day, then it’s likely worth the cost to have your caterer bring one vegan meal. Otherwise, I’d tell her that the menu has been set and she’s more than willing to enjoy the canapes and salad.

Personally, I think I would leave it as is (of course, I have no idea how close you and your aunt are, so my opinion isn’t likely to matter) simply because I would be very put off by the ultimatum “serve me a special meal or I’ll boycott your weding”…. If it was for medical reasons (food allergies, Celiac’s, etc) or if I knew in advance that she had chosen to live a vegan lifestyle, I’d go out of my way to be accommodating…. But to simply decide to be vegan overnight and then demand that your loved ones immediately alter their choices to suit your whims…yeah, I’m not so into that.

Post # 4
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think it’s incredibly unfair of you to question her motivations (“she’s only doing it to fit in!” and “she only JUST turned vegan”). If you can’t accomadate her or don’t want to then just tell her so.

Post # 5
9026 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

BizzzzyBee:  First please don’t serve fish to vegetarians. Vegetarians do not eat animal flesh therefore fish/seafood is out.

Second does the catering company have any other options than lasange? A vegie curry or stir fry with rice or a cheeseless lasagne (so basically a tray of vegetable stack). The vegetarians can eat the vegan meal.

Alternatively could you go to a local vegan restaurant and get them to make a single dish that can be served cold? 

Post # 6
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

j_jaye:  “First please don’t serve fish to vegetarians. Vegetarians do not eat animal flesh therefore fish/seafood is out.”

Yes, this. Fish is not vegetarian.

BizzzzyBee:  I think it was a bit rude of your aunt to basically say she won’t be attending if she can’t be accomodated. If it were me, I’d just be sure to eat a meal before I went and bring snacks with me, as I can’t fathom missing out on my own neice’s wedding over something so trivial. But if you really want her there, just talk to your catering company and see what they are willing to do. I’m sure it’s not the first time they’ve dealt with a situation like this.

Post # 7
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m vegan and I would never not attend someone’s wedding because of it – heck, most of the food at my wedding is going to be VERY non-vegan because Fiance and I are going to be the only vegans there. Your aunt can always take a bigger purse and pack it full of dried fruit and crackers.

If you want to try to accommodate her and the catering company doesn’t have any reasonably priced options, just buy a big old fruit and veggie platter for her use only.

Post # 9
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

First of all, I absolutely love that you wrote “anti vegan ingredients.” I’m a vegan, and sooo used to people refering to it as an “anti-meat” diet, so to read the reverse was really refreshing and put a smile on my face. I also like the vague hint that the other ingredients are nefarious. I hope you don’t mind me using that one ๐Ÿ™‚

So, as I said, I’m a vegan. A long term vegan. When I have dinner with my family and FI’s family they make sure there’s food I can eat. Sometimes they literally center the meal around me, which is totally kind, but most of the time they cook what they’d normally make and add a bunch of sides to make sure I have enough. And when I go out to weddings? I can almost always fill myself up. Maybe once or twice I’m stuck with just salad and bread, and I don’t love that, but it’s not a big deal.

I’m giving you my perspective because I think your aunt is being COMPLETELY ridiculous. I would text back that unfortunately it is impossible to change the main course at this date, as everything has been finalized and paid for, but that you will make sure that there are enough salads and side dishes that she’ll be able to eat too. Conclude by telling her you’re excited to see her then.

If she pulls any more BS, just tell her you’re sorry she can’t make it. It sounds soooo ridiculous. Again, as a vegan, it is NOT DIFFICULT to go to ONE meal where I’m not the center of attention! Canapes, salad, and bread is totally fine.

Post # 11
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Redondo Beach Historic Library

annd2015:  I was gonna say something similar, I have a vegan friend who has gone to all of our friends’ carnivore weddings because she wouldn’t want to miss out even if it means eating salad and bread. Your catering company is probably used to dealing with special diets so I would just ask them for options.

Post # 13
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can’t believe she’d miss your wedding simply because there may not be vegan food there! That’s a stupid reason not to attend.

Post # 14
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Are you sure you want her drama at your wedding? If you do then just pay the extra $$$ for one meal. But I would tell her that it will cost you extra for her meal and you are willing to pay it cause you really want her there, cause you love her very much and she a big part of your life, you would do anything to have her at your wedding.. But I would also find a way to tell her that you do not want her bashing the meat eaters, or the meat food on display. Sounds to me this women may need to be guided a little and pampered a lot, for her to have a good time. Sometimes pampering these people works wonders. Maybe bring her flowers when you go talk to her about the meat bashing…. lol

Post # 15
3035 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Let her know what things she can eat (the salad, bread, canapes?) and that your caterer doesn’t offer any vegan options. Let her know that she is welcome to bring something herself? 

If she plans on continueing her vegan lifestyle, i think she’s going to have to get used to bringing her own food places. While did have some vegetarian options, all my veggie friends mentioned that they’re used to bringing snacks in their purse to events because they know they aren’t always catered to. 

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