Last name

posted 3 months ago in Traditions
Post # 16
247 posts
Helper bee

I’m legally changing my name to his but changing my middle name to my maiden name and keeping my maiden name professionally. I was torn for a while because I love my last name, but I figured this was a good compromise that still made me happy. Honestly, you shouldn’t compromise though if you want to keep your name. Keep your name if you want to! It’s your decision, not his!

Post # 17
1904 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I wouldn’t worry about your kids matching your name. My kids don’t and I’ve never had to prove they were mine to anybody… other than maybe enrolling at school, but I’d have to do that regardless of if it matched. 

Seriously… nobody has batted an eye. And they know I’m their mom. 🙂 


Post # 18
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - Massachusetts

I only had one issue with my mom having a different last name than me. It was at city hall when I went to register my car. I was a lot younger and my mom was helping me out. She gave me a blank check and the clerk made a stink. I said loudly “oh I’m sorry my parents got divorced!” , her supervisor ended up being nearby and heard me and she told her to take the check. I mean honestly, it was blank, she signed it, and you get your $450. 

I joke with my SO and try to tell him to get my last name but he won’t do it. It’s a joke we have because my ancestry test came back 62% english (among other random things) and 1% Italian. My last name is Italian. His came back 80% Italian and his last name is English!! 

Anyway, I’m a coder so I talk to a lot of our physicians. Majority of the women physicians do not change their last name for the same reason that you stated. If your FH doesn’t mind, then I would just leave it as is. The two of you will have to discuss about children. 

Post # 19
350 posts
Helper bee

Honestly:  it sounds like your last name means too much to you to give up.

A Bee previously said if you give in (capitulate, which is the opposite of compromise), you’ll end up resenting it. These are wise words.

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