(Closed) Last name for children out of wedlock

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Whose last name did your child get
    His : (55 votes)
    50 %
    Mine : (43 votes)
    39 %
    Hyphenated : (10 votes)
    9 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Because his dad and I couldn’t agree! My son, age 12, has expressed interest in legally dropping his biological fathers last name. Now that I am getting married I will hyphenate my maiden name with my Fiance last name so that my son will still have the same last name as me:)

    Post # 4
    Member
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I gave him his father’s last name because we *knew* we were getting married. If we hadn’t been sharing accounts, living under the same roof, and both on the title of his car, there is no way I would have given him the name. In almost all instances, I recommend the mother’s last name. When the mother and father are wed, everyone can have the same last eventually!

    Post # 5
    Member
    9483 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would only choose mine instead of the father’s if I knew we wouldn’t be in a relationship for a very long time.

    Post # 6
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Father’s last name because we already knew we would be getting married and I would be changing my last name to his. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    It depends on the situation. I have a son out of wedlock his Dad is out of the picture so he has my last name. If his bio dad was more involved then he would have his bio dad’s last name.

    Post # 8
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My sister is having this debate right now with my mom. My mom wants the baby to have my sisters last name, and my sis wants to give the baby his last name and his first name. I am skeptical that he will stick around, so I dunno what to tell her. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    my son is almost 11 years old now, and from a previous relationship. his father wasnt completely commited to us so theres no way i wouldve given my kid his last name, looking back on it, it was the best decision i couldve made, he has my name and it will stay that way.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Jamie42003:  If he doesn’t sticka round, having the fathers name will be eaiser in the long run for child support, medical etc. I was reccomended to give his last name ( we were engaged but it was a terrible relationship). I am very proud that my son wants to keep our family name and drop his dads. No prompting from me at ALL.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    My daughter has my last name; I was 17 and had strong doubts that the bio father would not remain involved. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

    Post # 13
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @kittyface:  very similar to me, i was 17 when i had my kid too.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If I were in that situation, I’d give him/her my name. Even if we’re in a committed relationship at the time, until we were legally married, I’d prefer that the child’s name matched mine in case anything happened to end the relationship. It could always be changed after the marriage, but I  would feel sort of bad for my son if I named him John Smith III and then dad left right after birth and his step dad from age 2 was Bob Jones. He wouldn’t even know his namesake. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t have children out of wedlock, but I’m a child of a divorce that was pratically in process during the pregnancy and was finalized when I was just months old. That said, I have my dad’s last name. I’m really happy with that. It’s not because I was close to my dad (he rarely came around and never consistently), but I just like that one little bit of traditional even though nothing else about their relationship or our custody situations was really traditional.

    At one point, my mom divorced again and said she was going to go back to my last name (her name when it she was married to my dad – ironically, before I was even on their radar), and I freaked out. I can’t really explain it, but I had zero desire to share a name when she had never had my last name except for the first few months of my life. She went back to her maiden name.

    I never encountered any judgement for having a different last name than my mom. In fact, I don’t even plan on changing my name when we get hitched. I just like it and I’m totally fine with it even if my dad wasn’t winning any parent of the year awards.

    If I did get pregnant, there would be zero question that the child would have his name. Even if I believed we would split, I would give the child his name. I guess I just view that my ability to get along with a father really should have the least possible impact on a child. Since I would give the child his name whether we were married or unmarried and committed, it seems logical to me that even a failed relationship should result in the child having his last name.

    The topic ‘Last name for children out of wedlock’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors