Post # 1
Ok, I will apologize in advance for the confusion this post will automatically include.
My fiance has been wanting to change his last name for a while now, but wants to wait until after he has graduated from college so nothing gets messed up with his credits or graduation status (not sure I think this would be less confusing than if he changed his last name AFTER he graduates when his name will not match that which is on his diploma, but whatever). He is graduating about 2 weeks before our wedding, which means that I will have to send out Save the Dates and Invitations WELL before then, but which name do I include? By the time we’re married, his name will have changed, but I’m afraid that if we use his new last name on the invites that no one will know who is actually getting married!
UGH! The other option is to have him keep the name until we get married, then we can both go get our names changed at the same time. What would any of you do? I’m getting so frustrated that I almost want him to keep his current last name just to save us the hassle, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to ask that of him because he has very good reasons for wanting to change it.
Have any thoughts on this??
Post # 3
Honestly, I would ask him if he wouldn’t mind waiting. It just seems like such a hassle and so confusing otherwise!
Post # 4
I’d go with the last choice. If you just wait till after the wedding you can both change it together. There’s always the option of having him take YOUR name too, if he’s changing it to get rid of the old name, rather than because he wants the new name. ^_^
Post # 5
i would wait and change your names together. spin it into a fun, bonding thing for you two to do together.
Post # 6
That seems super confusing to me too! I would have to agree to wait to change it … if he really insists on change it before and adding to the confusion … I would put a simple additional insert into the save the dates and invites explaining the situation. I can definitely see it as been super confusing to some of your guests.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2009 - Rancho Bernardo Inn
I would want to change after…and maybe at the wedding be introduced and Mr. and Mrs. So and So for the first time. Does he have a preference which name is used on the save the dates/invites?
Post # 8
He really doesn’t care which name is used on the invites, honestly, I don’t think he wants to spend any time worrying about something like this. So I’m doing it for him 🙂 I think I will take your advice and we can go together to get our names changed….it will just be strange being introduced during the wedding as one new name, only to change it a week or two later….oh well!
Post # 9
Sounds fun to be starting life together with a new name all around! Good luck to you. Please keep us posted.
Post # 10
Wow, lots going on for you around the same time! I’ve heard that it’s easier for him to change his name, then you go and change yours and say you want to because you got married. If you just both go to the courts to get your names changed it will be extra hassles and extra $$$…at least from what I’ve read on here before.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
Yes I agree – he’s got to do it before you can. I think unless you provide the court order for his name change along with your marriage certificate, the ‘marriage-name-change" procedures only work to change your last name to the last name of your groom, as it’s printed on the marriage certificate.