(Closed) Last to marry and friends not excited…

posted 7 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 18
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That grass is always greener on the other side!  I was kind of the middle of my friends in terms of who got married, and three of my bridesmaids were not engaged.  I felt that they barely cared about my wedding at all and did absolutely nothing to help or show interest.  I feel like when people don’t show interest.  In my case, because they were jealous it didn’t happen for them yet… in your case maybe jealous you are just starting while they are in failed marriages, etc.

Post # 19
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It sounds like you really don’t have a lot of support. I am surprised that you have so many people that you consider to be close enough to you to ask them to be in your wedding, and yet they could care less and dont seem to want to be there. I am sorry. If I were your bridesmaid,I would be very excited for you and make your day special. Heck, I am excited for you. Who cares if yu didn’t do it at the same time they did, they are the ones getting divorced, not you. you did it on your time when you were ready and i think there is something to be said for that. it shows maturity and how serious you are about your future with your husband. 

Post # 21
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Such a relief to find that I am not the only one feeling this way.  No one really asks me about my wedding or what plans I have and it makes me sad….I told my Fiance that it feels like no one really cares and if they don’t then why bother feeding and entertaining them….perhaps we should just Elope.

Post # 22
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am definitely the last to marry at 54 and my best friend is so over the moon about this!!!! She is happily married for 36 years (married at 17) and has waited for this day since the 6th grade! My little sister has been married 22 years and is going over the top for me, and my friends insisted on having shower for me, that I didn’t want!  And pretty much everyone I invited can’t wait for our wedding in 3 weeks…and those that can’t be here are truely disappointed that they are going to miss it.

My best friend and sister live 1000 miles away, but that didn’t stop them from dress shopping with me, planning a shower, and being as much of a part of this that they can remotely…today’s technology helps too…

Didn’t expect this reaction from anyone about my finally getting married, but I guess I’ll just roll with it!

 

Post # 23
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Maybe you can build some anticpation to it?

One of my girlfriends suggested as a “final hooray” for the last one getting hitched, that we do a crazy overseas trip (or something like that if you guys have already done Vegas before).

Post # 24
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Me too!

In January, one of my close girlfriends got engaged to a great guy. This will be her 2nd marriage. She is my age. They are getting married in April 2013. They were already planning their wedding before the “engagement”.

In March, my best girlfriend got engaged to a great guy. This will be HER 2nd marriage. She is two years older than me. They are getting married in March 2013. They were also already planning their wedding before being “engaged”.

In February, I got engaged to the most wonderful man in the world.  It was a COMPLETE surprise, even though we had obviously talked about marriage. I wasn’t expecting an engagement until maybe this fall.  This is my FIRST marriage. Both of the other ladies are bridesmaids- one is my MOH- and I am in both of THEIR weddings. But I feel like I’m getting lost in the chaos of multiple weddings being planned.  Add to that the fact that my family is in another state, and I’m kind of lonely. I’m thrilled about our wedding and can’t wait until the “wedding” is behind us and we can focus on the MARRIAGE (!), but I pictured more “girl” time with my bridesmaids, etc. It’s not what I expected.

Post # 25
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I can relate to this somewhat and am sorry that your friends were acting so lame…at 31 I’m one of the last of my high school friends to get married and middle of the pack of my college crew.  I definitely felt disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm I got from some friends/family after announcing our engagement.  In these cases, I think the bland reactions are a lot less about the couple and more about the people surrounding them.  They have to be happy with themselves before they can be happy/excited for someone else.  i’m glad you didn’t let it dampen your day.  I certainly won’t let other people’s “issues” steal my joy either 🙂  Also, I think as we get a bit older, we all realize that the marriage is what really matters, moreso than the wedding. 

Post # 26
Member
6117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“Does anyone find that by being a ‘late bloomer’ bride, your friends are less interested and not really excited?”

 

Yes, people in my life have zilch for excitement, not even my own family really gives  hoot.  Well, H’s Parents were excited and hence our only guests.

Post # 28
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Sunshine09:  

 

I don’t believe in the term “late bloomer bride” because I think that everyone finds their soulmate when it’s right for them. I don’t think I’m late to anything, ha!

I’m shocked at how your friends are treating you, that’s sad, I’m sorry you have to go through that. They don’t sound like good friends to me. Perhaps they don’t want to be in the processional/bridal/groom party?

Post # 29
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

Ugh!  I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this!  It’s probably late, but if I were you, I’d limit your wedding party to people who care.  These unenthusiastic “friends” would be better off as guests.

People come and go, just because you were friends with someone in the past doesn’t mean that they matter today.  Focus on the people who are excited for you, there must be some.

Post # 30
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Sunshine09:  ow i feel you both my BFF have been married and divorced so sometime i get the ” are you sure you want to do this speech” and i think its so unfair i dident do that to them i trusted that they were doing what they wanted to do. sometimes i feel silly caz it just seems like my wedding is not a big deal. its my first wedding and on my FH side its his second marriage so i feel like some of his family is like here we go again. its so unfair. i know im in my late 30s but still this marriage and wedding means alot to me. im just going to roll with the punches and keep my spirits high ; )

Post # 31
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can kind of relate. I was the very last one of my friends to get married at 30. Darling Husband is younger than me so he’s about in the middle, but last in his closest group of friends. His friends and family were very excited. Mine… not so much. It did hurt because when they all got married years ago I was always there, I listened, and I gave thoughtful cards and nice gifts. None of my friends even gave me a card and most didn’t bother to show up. Now that I’m pregnant, they’re calling to see how I am. I’m fine, but I was a stressed out mess during the wedding planning because of my in-laws… when I needed your ear to listen, not now. Ah! End vent. Anyway, I think they just care more about babies than weddings and it sucks.

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