(Closed) Late bridesmaid – what to do

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m guessing you are getting married before her… Is there a way to ask her if you can pay for the dress after your wedding? Explain that money is tight and after the wedding you will be able to pay her back.

Post # 4
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

In My Humble Opinion I would just kindly tell her that you would love to be a part of her special day, but due to money constraints, as well as your own upcoming wedding, you are unable to afford the prechosen dress. She should understand, especially since she is asking you so late in the game. Good luck

Post # 5
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@arametta127:  +1 it would take the pressure off with discussing your budget and finding a way to make it work, etc.

Post # 6
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with the others, I think you should talk to her about it. I do not think its is fair to sacrifice your own wedding when she asked you months later. 

Post # 7
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with pp about declining to be in the wedding, but if you do want to stay in the wedding and have to say something about the budget, I wouldn’t feel too bad considering she wouldn’t have asked you had another girl not dropped out.  Ask if she could help pay for it and you can pay her back in installments?  My parents who are funding my wedding offered to pay for the three Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and they can pay them back as they can.

Post # 10
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m in the exact same situation! And yes, I think asking her to pay the balance for the dress is fine. She asked you late, and she needs to be respectful of your budget. Otherwise, can you be a bridesmaid but just not have the matching dress? I know most matchy-matchy brides wouldn’t go for that, though.

Post # 11
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just say that you would really love to be a part of the wedding but can’t really afford the dress. Any friend would understand that and would either figure a way out ot get you the dress or figure out a way for you to be a part of the wedding. OR at least that’s what I would try to do.

Post # 12
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@ireterra:  I undertand where you are coming from, but I think the best thing to do at this point is to just step down.  You have to keep in mind that she is paying for a wedding as well.  You said money is tight becuase you are paying for your wedding.  Do you really want to turn around and ask her for money knowing she is probably in the same boat?

Plus even if you get her to pay for part of the dress, you still have shoes, gifts, accessories and so on.

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