(Closed) Late RSVP from high maintenace friend – am I overreacting?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I get why you are pd-off with this girl. I have several friends that talk about how other people didn’t do the right thing but yet are the ones to turn around and do the wrong thing themselves.  Like heaven forbid you don’t send thank you cards out in a timely manner but now that it’s their turn 3 months later and still no thank you cards. 

I think you just vent to us and your Fiance.  And then just move on.  You can’t change her and if you say anything to her then she’d just turn around and talk about you to other people about you being a bridezilla or whatever.

Sorry I know it stinks to have this going on.

Post # 4
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I think you should let it go… because there is a chance that she thought she had already returned it.  I have occasionally thought that something was already in the mail only to discover that it had gotten buried in the pile or misplaced under a car seat.   If she’s your friend then be kind and think well it’s okay that sometimes happens to me too.

Post # 5
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is pretty lame of her to say no after all that time with no real explanation or anything.  You could give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe she was trying to figure out if she was able to come or not.  I probably would have contacted her way prior to a month, or two weeks even if I hadn’t heard anything.  For saying no after all that time, more than a no checkbox would have been nice.

Post # 6
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I know it stinks to have the reply no, especially from someone like her and a month late, but sometimes people really do try to make something and it just doesn’t work out.  I know I was in a similar situation as your friend, and while I didn’t reply late, I did tell her no at the last minute, but that was only because I really tried to make it but couldn’t…so just to give you perspective on the other side, i’m sure you know your friend, but she may have been trying to go at first but found out she couldn’t at the last minute…

Post # 7
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Am I correct in understanding that your wedding date is in October, but your RSVP deadline was April 1?

I understand that destination weddings require early RSVPs in order to determine headcount, but I wouldn’t blame anyone who was still iffy on their decision on whether to travel to Cabo San Lucas six months before the fact. She probably wanted to go but had a hard time making the financial decision not to.

Missing an RSVP deadline is never okay, especially by an entire month, but I think it’d be wise to let this go.

Post # 8
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My husband’s cousin’s wife sent us a note asking “what was the last possible date she could RSVP,” so we told her. By the week of the wedding, I still had not heard from them. Finally got a no RSVP the day before the wedding. Annoyed me to no end, because they had gone to the trouble of asking for a specific date. That being said, I vented only to my Maid/Matron of Honor, and now to weddingbee, as it truly was not worth the drama making it known publicly would have involved.

Post # 9
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Graciously say that you recieved her RSVP the other day, and not to worry about it being late, you’ve marked everyone who did not reply as a no. It pardons her from what is clearly a inconsiderate move on her part, while acknowledging the situation and pointing out that she won’t get to you (most “high maintenance” people thrive on ruffling feathers).

Post # 10
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Agree with Veronica- she’s just trying to press your buttons.  Don’t even let her know you noticed it.

Post # 12
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I love @Veronica’s response!!

The topic ‘Late RSVP from high maintenace friend – am I overreacting?’ is closed to new replies.

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