(Closed) Late Wife & Ring Etiquette?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Looks like it will be beautiful and meaningful- how perfect 🙂

Post # 63
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

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weddingbeeforumid:  There is a big assumption that a diamond purchased at a jeweler came straight from the diamond cutter – likely not.  There is a lot of diamond recycling, if a jeweler removed a center stone from a setting and showed it as a loose diamond – would one know if it had been worn by another person previously? No, unless it had wear and tear signs obvious.  We asked our jewer this exact question when I sold him a bunch of family pieces and he said that a significant amount of stones are “recycled”.  Personally, I think it’s a sentimental nod to your pasts.  I can’t imagine losing a significant other and how difficult the healing journey must have been for both of you.  That life lesson would remain part of who I was and I would remember and respectfully honor my loved one, the relationship and the personal growth for having supported and loved someone through an incredibly difficult situation (Applause to both of you!).  If your SO is ok with using the stone and his former wife did not express a wish for something specific to be done with her eRing then I think it’s perfectly appropriate.  If I passed, I would want my jewels to go to my child. If I didn’t have a child and I didn’t have a female in my family I wanted it to go to I would have absolutely no issue with my DH using it for his new wife – however she wanted.  I would be honored that she would even wear it.  I think you should get the style you want and disregard what other people in your circle think.  I agree with some of the other posters, it’s ridiculous that people would care that much about your jewelry.  My parents’ social circle is “high”, I guess I never really thought about it but they couldn’t give 2 sh*ts abour their jewelry or mine.  Nor should they.  They should focus on that awesome fact that you both loved your SO’s through incredibly difficult situations, that you were able to heal and open your hearts to find love again.  Inspiring!  Wishing you the best!

Post # 64
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I kind of love the fact that you’re using her stones and have created a similar but unique-to-you setting! I think it’s an amazing testament to the respect and love your husband has for you, and the respect and love you have for him in both making it your own, but also I see it as sort of honoring his late wife by using her stones, which I personally (had I been the first wife) would have loved. I’d feel like my memory was being kept alive but that he was able to move on and find happiness again, which is clearly what has happened. So happy for you – what an incredible idea! As PP have said – life is too short, and you want to live it for yourself and your relationship, not anyone else! If they have negative opinions (and let’s face it, everyone always does), then I say, screw ’em! 🙂

Post # 65
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Also, my diamond in my e-ring is an ‘estate’ diamond, and I love that it’s got some sort of history behind it – even though I don’t know what it is! I think it makes it more special and meaningful. I was thrilled when my hubby later told me it was an estate diamond!

Post # 66
Member
1610 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

I say do it! First off this is ultimately a decision between you and DH and each of you has your own story to tell. Her ring was not anything to be ashamed of and it’s completely touching. Taking her stones and putting them into a pave setting would add on to your story. The pave band sets it apart just enough from the previous ring. I don’t see anything wrong with it and it meshes his past with your present and future in a beautiful way.

Post # 67
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

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weddingbeeforumid:  Gorgeous! I love it and can’t wait to see the final product!

Post # 68
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

In all honesty, if he is willing to let you use her stones, I would find it incredibly sweet to use them in your new ring, if it gives you a chance to have the ring you want.

Post # 69
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Love the design detail on the sides.  How long til it will be done?

Post # 71
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I say to do what makes you happy, life is too short to worry about what other people think. I think because you are getting it re-set as well it makes it a new set thats for you two. You both sound like wonderful people.

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