- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013 - UK
I need to get this off my chest, so I thought I’d post here. If I told Fiance, he’d go crazy. Anyway, here’s the latest. Spoke to bridesmaidzilla the other night.
Bridesmaid or Best Man: Any idea about how I’m getting to your wedding? (BM has no license or car, and lives a long way away).
Me: I was going to ask my Dad to make a detour on the Friday to pick you up, as his route passes fairly close to your place [fairly is a relative term… it’s at least an hour’s detour… but I digress]. He should be with you about midday. The ceremony is on Saturday, and then he is driving home on Sunday afternoon, so he could drop you off at home.
Bridesmaid or Best Man: *excuses excuses* I can’t be away from home for two nights. I have pets. No, I can’t get my Mum to look in on them, even though she lives within walking distance. No, nobody else could look in on them. I hate sleeping away from home. I get stressed when I don’t sleep in my own bed. I don’t really know your Dad, and I have a nervous bladder when travelling with people I don’t know. Is there nobody else driving down who could pick me up and take me back on the Saturday?
Me: Well, no. Nobody else lives that far north, except for my Grandparents, who will probably not be able to make it, and would not be able to drive in any case. It’s a good 4-5 hour drive, and the party doesn’t finish until midnight on the Saturday. People are going to be drinking, so they won’t drive, and even if you did, by some miracle, find a non-drinker who was living near-ish to you (and I have no clue who that would be), then they’ll be exhausted by midnight, and will want to have a good sleep before starting the drive back.
Bridesmaid or Best Man: I thought you wanted the party to finish early because of the elderlies?
Me: No, I wanted to start everything early in the day in case the older people got tired and needed to have an early night. But the party doesn’t finish until midnight.
Bridesmaid or Best Man: *grumble, mumble* I suppose I could just get the bus. I can’t afford to take the train.
Me: But HOW will you get the bus? Let’s think this through. You live in town A. You would have to travel into the centre of city B to get the bus, correct? The bus goes from B to city C. How will you get from city C to our venue?
Bridesmaid or Best Man: Isn’t your venue near city C?
Me: Only in the same way that Accrington is near to Manchester (ie a 45 minute-1 hour drive, depending on traffic)!
Bridesmaid or Best Man: Bloody hell, you couldn’t have picked a more accessible venue, could you?
(We picked our venue because it was accessible to 99% of our guests. She has also known where it was for months… she just clearly never bothered to look it up on a map. But I let this comment go).
Me: The bus will take you at least 8 hours. At least. Even travelling by train, you would have to travel from A to B to C, cross city C using the underground service, take another train from a different station in C, travel to town D, and change again to travel to town E, where our venue is. You would then have to walk from E to the venue.
Bridesmaid or Best Man: Well, I’m sure I will be able to convince someone to take me home on Saturday.
Me: … you think you will be able to convince someone to not drink during the meal, leave immediately after the speeches, and miss the party, in order to drive 5 hours in failing light and drop you off on the way?
Bridesmaid or Best Man: Sure. I have to be back by 10pm at the latest. But your wedding is ages away, so I’m not worrying about it yet.
Me:… OK. I’m going to leave this up to you [otherwise I will get angry]. Update me nearer to the time.
Am I the only one who thinks that she needs a serious REALITY CHECK? You get invited to a wedding on the opposite side of the country. You know that you have to be at the bride’s house to do hair and makeup at 10am on the day of the wedding. Surely, SURELY you can therefore deduce that you will need to spend two nights away from home, right? RIGHT? Why did you say yes to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man if you can’t spend two nights away from home? What kind of Bridesmaid or Best Man only spends one night away, unless she lives incredibly close to the venue? AAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!