Post # 1
My FH is latino and has two last names, as many do. I am not that crazy about his first (paternal and ‘main’) last name because it is long and hard to pronounce. Would it be possible, when I change my name after marriage, to take his second last name?
So for example, lets say his name is Jose Rivera Garcia.
Can I become “Maggie Garcia” instead of “Maggie Rivera”? Can I pick which last name I want or do they make you take the first one or both or none?
Post # 3
I thought when a man married, he dropped the maternal name? Then the woman would add his name to her paternal name.
Post # 4
@maggierose: Well the last one is his paternal last name. So in our culture that would be the one that would be the standard one to take. The second one is the maternal last name. Essentially in hispanic culture you would be becoming part of the the Mother’s family only. DH’s family would have flipped if I did that I think. I just took the one, the first one, which is the only one Darling Husband uses anyways. Most men drop the second one when they get married because their children would take their wives last name anyways.
Post # 5
@mwitter80: Yeah, FH did say he thought it would be a little weird for me to take his maternal last name. I guess we can both just take his paternal last name. We aren’t incorporating my last name at all.
Post # 6
Taking the second last name, the maternal one, is not very common in the Latino community. Well at least not in the Mexican traditional norms. The children usually get the paternal last name, so your name would be different than your childrens, unless you agreed to give the children his maternal last name. Personally I am not changing my last name. Our children will have both our last names and if the want to pick one over the other, they will have that option.
Post # 7
It definitely seems weird to choose his second last name. The first one is pretty much the “main” one. It’s the name both parents pass on to their children, the one that’s used to place you alphabetically, and the one that women use when they choose to go by “Sra. Name Lastname de Hislastname”. I don’t think it would really make you feel like you share a family name, if that’s what you’d like, and would appear as if you either kept your maiden name or are part of his mother’s family.
Post # 8
What are you ladies doing about your current name? Dropping it all together and taking his? I don’t know if I want to change my name at all. I have a 2 last names too (like most of us) and I was considering dropping my father’s name (we have a terrible relationship) and putting Fi’s next to my mother’s. Or adding the “de” between them like old times. Or dropping this whole idea and stay as I am.
Post # 9
@MASPA: I am having a similar issue. I want to keep my maternal name, because I love it and it makes my full dame a sentence which I think is cool, and add my FH last name. Except I have a good relationship with my father I am sure he would be hurt if I dropped his name and not my mothers. It was suggested that I keep both my names and add his but that is just redic.
@maggierose: I agree that it would be odd but if he doesn’t have a problem with it and thats what you want, than so what, do it! But, if you both want to have children, I would agree beforehand on what their last name would be. And would you and your FH have different “last names” since you are only taking his maternal name (I am assuming he is keeping his paternal name) and would you both be ok with that? And, if you are ok with having varying last names, would you both be ok with your children having a different last name from one of you (if children are in your future)?
Sorry this post is so lofty but I am weighing similar issues and had friends bring a lot of things i never thought of to light.
Post # 10
My vote is for the “de” option, since its whats done in Argentina, but I know some other countries may have different tendencies.
Post # 12
@Eva Peron: I have a major problem with the whole “de” thing. Personally, I feel like a woman named for example “Maria Rodriguez de Luna” sounds like she is her husband’s property! It’s kinda cute, but demeaning!
Post # 13
I have been going back and forth with this too. I have an okay relationship with my dad, and my FI’s last name just runs into my first. But, my last name rhymes with my first so it’s like there is no point. It will literally sound like “Lee-Lee” if I just take his, or if i take his and keep mine. Sigh…. I feel so stupid because my name is going to sound retarded, but I really want to take his name. I like the “de” solution, but Fiance and his fam don’t use it. 😛
Post # 14
In Mexico, a woman is actually now forbidden by law from changing her legal name to her husband’s. The way it works is that a baby gets the paternal name of both its mother and father at birth. So if Jose Rivera Garcia marries Margarita Rodriguez Valencia, neither changes his/her name, but the children would all have the last names Rivera Rodriguez (which of course shows their connection with both parents). Would this be an option for you?
Post # 15
@maggierose: I think that the whole lastname issue is personal.
I’m not sure if there are legal implications about which of the two lastnames you
Want to use. I changed my lastname but for me it was the other
Way around, I had the long 2-lastnames. Now I only have
My husband’s. Our children have his lastname and mine.
I actually changed mine about 5 years after being married. I tried
Using the hyphen- Mine-his lastname but it was too long.
Good luck and take your time deciding.
Post # 16
To answer your question is, YES you can just take one of his last names… in this case Garcia, like you said. Heck, you can change it to a brand new one if you wanted. You can do whatever you like with your last name.