(Closed) Latino last names and changing name after the wedding question

posted 7 years ago in Latino
Post # 3
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I thought when a man married, he dropped the maternal name? Then the woman would add his name to her paternal name.

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@maggierose: Well the last one is his paternal last name. So in our culture that would be the one that would be the standard one to take.  The second one is the maternal last name. Essentially in hispanic culture you would be becoming part of the the Mother’s family only. DH’s family would have flipped if I did that I think. I just took the one, the first one, which is the only one Darling Husband uses anyways. Most men drop the second one when they get married because their children would take their wives last name anyways. 

Post # 6
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Taking the second last name, the maternal one, is not very common in the Latino community. Well at least not in the Mexican traditional norms. The children usually get the paternal last name, so your name would be different than your childrens, unless you agreed to give the children his maternal last name. Personally I am not changing my last name. Our children will have both our last names and if the want to pick one over the other, they will have that option.

Post # 7
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It definitely seems weird to choose his second last name. The first one is pretty much the “main” one. It’s the name both parents pass on to their children, the one that’s used to place you alphabetically, and the one that women use when they choose to go by “Sra. Name Lastname de Hislastname”. I don’t think it would really make you feel like you share a family name, if that’s what you’d like, and would appear as if you either kept your maiden name or are part of his mother’s family.

Post # 8
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

What are you ladies doing about your current name? Dropping it all together and taking his?  I don’t know if I want to change my name at all.  I have a 2 last names too (like most of us) and I was considering dropping my father’s name (we have a terrible relationship) and putting Fi’s next to my mother’s.  Or adding the “de” between them like old times.  Or dropping this whole idea and stay as I am.

Post # 9
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MASPA: I am having a similar issue. I want to keep my maternal name, because I love it and it makes my full dame a sentence which I think is cool, and add my FH last name. Except I have a good relationship with my father I am sure he would be hurt if I dropped his name and not my mothers. It was suggested that I keep both my names and add his but that is just redic.

@maggierose: I agree that it would be odd but if he doesn’t have a problem with it and thats what you want, than so what, do it! But, if you both want to have children, I would agree beforehand on what their last name would be. And would you and your FH have different “last names” since you are only taking his maternal name (I am assuming he is keeping his paternal name) and would you both be ok with that? And, if you are ok with having varying last names, would you both be ok with your children having a different last name from one of you (if children are in your future)?

Sorry this post is so lofty but I am weighing similar issues and had friends bring a lot of things i never thought of to light.

Post # 10
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My vote is for the “de” option, since its whats done in Argentina, but I know some other countries may have different tendencies.

 

Post # 11
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011
Post # 12
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Eva Peron:  I have a major problem with the whole “de” thing. Personally, I feel like a woman named for example “Maria Rodriguez de Luna” sounds like she is her husband’s property! It’s kinda cute, but demeaning!

Post # 13
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have been going back and forth with this too. I have an okay relationship with my dad, and my FI’s last name just runs into my first. But, my last name rhymes with my first so it’s like there is no point. It will literally sound like “Lee-Lee” if I just take his, or if i take his and keep mine. Sigh…. I feel so stupid because my name is going to sound retarded, but I really want to take his name. I like the “de” solution, but Fiance and his fam don’t use it. 😛

Post # 14
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

In Mexico, a woman is actually now forbidden by law from changing her legal name to her husband’s.  The way it works is that a baby gets the paternal name of both its mother and father at birth.  So if Jose Rivera Garcia marries Margarita Rodriguez Valencia, neither changes his/her name, but the children would all have the last names Rivera Rodriguez (which of course shows their connection with both parents).  Would this be an option for you?

Post # 15
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2004

@maggierose:  I think that the whole lastname issue is personal. 

I’m not sure if there are legal implications about which of the two lastnames you

Want to use.  I changed my lastname but for me it was the other

Way around, I had the long 2-lastnames.  Now I only have

My husband’s.  Our children have his lastname and mine.  

I actually changed mine about 5 years after being married.  I tried

Using the hyphen- Mine-his lastname but it was too long.  

Good luck and take your time deciding.  

Post # 16
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2012

To answer your question is, YES you can just take one of his last names… in this case Garcia, like you said. Heck, you can change it to a brand new one if you wanted. You can do whatever you like with your last name. 

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