(Closed) Law Enforcement Officer Significant Others – Anybody Else Anxious Lately?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
570 posts
Busy bee

Boxerlover24:  Luckily the nearest thing that has happened to us was someone punching an officer during a routine traffic stop about two hours away (a white guy going on about racism to a white cop).  But they did have a meeting about some guys planning on coming up from NYC and dressing as cops to get close to real cops in order to shoot them.  Darling Husband said they’d have trouble where he is because everyone knows everybody.

I met my Darling Husband about three years ago and I can’t believe what they do.  I just had no idea.  They play the roles of babysitters, parents, teachers, mediators, lawyers (he defends himself in court) etc. in addition to traffic stops and racing to emergencies when total strangers need them.  I was appalled when he told me about the parents who tell their kids they are going to call the cops on them if they aren’t good.  My mom told me to go to police if I needed help. 

I’m sick of hearing “FTP” and it’s “just a job.”  At my job I’ve never seen a dead teenager who overdosed and had to tell their parents I’m sorry but it’s too late to revive them.  (Among many other things.)

You’re right BoxerLover, it feels very good to talk to other police family.  I’ve found a lot of groups on facebook that have helped me (like wives behind the badge).  It just helps to know others feel the same way I do.  99% of my “friends” on FB are silent on the subject.  I have one cousin who started posting pro-police things and I have one “friend” who posts negative things.  I haven’t unfriended her because I really liked her before but I’m close.

I also agree with you that young, good, respectful, intelligent people won’t want to become police officers if this continues.  Where will our society be then?  There’s no way I could encourage anybody I love to become a police officer now.

Post # 17
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Boxerlover24:  re: Mrs.Sugabee2003, I don’t think her comment was out of line. That’s the nice thing about the Boards, all opinions are welcome.

Post # 19
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I just stopped by to say that I have the utmost respect for law enforcement and I wish all of your husbands home safe tonight and every night. There are bad apples in every profession and it’s SCARY the way some bad publicity from a very tiny minority of people is putting so many good-hearted innocent people in danger. I wish for healing of our nation every day so that everyone gets home safe–and yes, so that intelligent respectful men and women will continue to join the police. How can we hold police to a high standard if no one wants to be on the force? Logic, America. 

ETA: “send my SO to work wearing a bullet proof vest.” oomph, that hit me hard. I really do wish all of you all the happiness and safety in the world. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  beckybee787.
Post # 20
Member
3232 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Boxerlover24:  If you’d like to have nobody else have their opinions ever, you could always start your own LEO-SO board or search to find one that is already running. 

I can totally appreciate the fact that other people not in your specific situation are not going to “know” what this is like for you. But getting snippy because someone shared a story that related to law enforcement and their own experience of it on a public forum in order to more deeply explain that they still respect law enforcement in general is ridiculous and kind of out of touch.

The police force in my hometown works really damn hard at being part of the community rather than separate from it. A lot of great officers put a lot of their own time into community events, outreach and goodwill efforts. When someone opens up to share what happened to them and you slam them for it you are undoing some of the best efforts of those men and women who are trying really hard to make sure the image of law enforcement is one that is with people, not an impenetrable blue wall. 

Post # 21
Member
1653 posts
Bumble bee

Boxerlover24:   I agree 

This war on police has to stop. It is going to prevent good cops for wanting to help, wanting to do the already thankless job and you will have officers who do not care working .

What would we do without police? Let the criminals run wild? WTF is wrong with people today.

Post # 22
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My hubs is a state trooper and I’m scated every day. I’m scared for him, for me, for our daughter. I don’t feel safe. I feel there is a target on our backs just bc of what he does. I honestly don’t think civilians really know how bad the war one Leo’s is. 

Post # 23
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve worked with law enforcement closely for years many of them abuse their power . If you want change influence your spouses IF they are truly decent officers to influence and correct those who do abuse their power.

Protecting the shield and protecting officers who they know have strayed is gonna get them hurt.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  jonescivil.
Post # 24
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’ve been lurking on this website for a little while now but this will be my first post.

My Fiance and I have been together for 6 1/2 years and he has been a police officer for about 2 1/2 years. I try not to worry too much about his safety because we live in a relatively safe small town, but I still get nervous when I wake up at night and he still isn’t home when he should have been hours ago. I used to listen to the police scanner for hours while he was at work until the website that hosted it closed it off to the public. We did have an officer shot and killed (only the 2nd in our town ever) in December.

What really affects me is the negative reactions and associations people have with the police. I had a guy literally scream in my face for 10 minutes straight about how much he hated the police and how he would kill one if he had the chance after he found out what the FI’s job was. He even had the nerve to tell me the aforementioned slain officer deserved to be shot. Anyway, it is nice to see that their is a little but of a community for us LEO-SOs here.

Post # 25
Member
570 posts
Busy bee

I hate to cheat on the Bee but this post has inspired me to find policewives.org  It looks like they have semi-private boards there.  Maybe I’ll see some of you over there.  🙂

 

jonescivil:  My husband IS a decent officer.  Please stop spreading hate against the man I love.

Post # 27
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

jonescivil:  IF you worked closely with law enforcement for several years, it sounds like you didn’t have a very positive experience. My experience has been very different from yours, and I would say that I work mostly *against* police in my line of work. Your response is as unhelpful as it is obnoxious and insensitive. 
It is *always* wrong to assume that someone you never met is a bad person based on a stereotype. You should set a better example if you are so adamant about police reform. 

Post # 28
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My fiancé is a sergeant in a pretty much globally recognized police force here in New York (I’m sure everyone can figure that one out!). I worry about him every single day he’s there, but this past December after the two officers were killed in their patrol cars was one of the scariest times of my life. 

Post # 29
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My Fiance is a federal LE officer, I worry about him every day. His line of work lets him deal with the worst of the worst on a daily basis, with his backup usually 45mins to an hour away at best. I nearly had a breakdown the other day, he was 13 hours into a shift and wasn’t answering texts or calls. I told myself not to worry, he was probably working a call (he was), but it’s still awful to have to think that our guys may not come home. It’s especially hard knowing that he is a prime target. I can’t tell anyone but our closest friends what he does for fear that I might be targeted by someone to get to him. We have to lie to neighbors to make sure that the word doesn’t get out what he does. It makes me feel better to know I’m not alone! 

Post # 30
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

Yeah that denial mentality acting as if its some far away ” rogue” officer instead of a serious problem within the law enforcement culture is what has us here. As we can see turning a blind eye isn’t helpful in the slightest.

@MissCorigi ,please (rolls eyes) I didn’t say anything directly about your husband. I’m speaking about them in general.

 

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