(Closed) Law enforcement wives- Need a little advice!

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

While I am not married to someone in LE, my last LTR was with a LEO. He worked 11p-7a W-Sunday and was off Mon and Tues. I worked 8:30-530 M-F. Not ideal. It took adjusting after the academy. 

I would listen to him on the scanner if I missed him or worried (there’s an app). On his days off, I would meet him for lunch when he woke up and we would just spend as much time as possible. I met other LE gf/wives and we did weekly or every other week get togethers. Good luck!!

Post # 5
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m an LEO wife. Shift work is the worst, particularly the graveyard shift like your fiance (and my husband) are both on. Try to meet some of the other wife’s and girlfriends. That helped me learn to deal with the stress of his job when we first started dating. They understand. 

I enjoy my time alone but it does get lonely sometimes. It wouldn’t hurt to just apply for both types of jobs. You never know who you’ll meet or what opportunity may come your way. 

It does get easier with time though. I didn’t know my husband when he was doing FTO but a good friend of ours is an FTO and he is hard on his trainees. Your fiance’s shift will change and it will get better. It just takes time. 

Sorry I’m not much more help. 

Post # 7
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@gingerkitten:  I’ve found that even the older wives are still super friendly. There is such a bond between those guys and the wives just become a part of it naturally. Pretty much all of my female friends now are LEO wives and a few female cops as well. 

Post # 8
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@gingerkitten:   I am a LEO wife too, and unfortunately shift work is the worst part of the job.  What some other wives do is volunteer in the community to get involved and meet other people. Or join other clubs or sports activities to get out there and try different things.  I do know some wives have taken any type of job (especially if its hard to find one in town) just on a part time basis or something at least to be social.  Or maybe do some distance education courses if there is anything your interested in?

Mine and DH’s schedules conflict often since I work the typical Monday to Friday 8-4 and he works 4 on, 4 off.  So once every two months he works all weekends so I don’t get to socialize with him on my days off.  Often when I come home from work he already left for his shift so I miss him.  His initial training was brutal, had to be away from home in a totally different Province for 6 months before he came back and did field training at his detachment.  That was the longest we’ve ever been apart from each other.

But I do find other wives are quite supportive and friendly and totally understand what you are going through.  I am a part of a spouses group on Facebook too..  Not sure if you can find out about that.  Otherwise sometimes I enjoy his night shifts so I can catch up on my click flicks or meet up with friends, do whatever.  Maybe learn some new hobbies or crafts too etc..

Hopefully your hubbys schedule will change eventually to a better time. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Are we twins? I have exact same life. My husband is a police officer and was one for about 2 years in our relationship and that was tough. I hated his swing shifts bc they would mess me up all the time. He worked 7p-7a for a month and then 7a-7p the next month and they would rotate months of days and then nights the following month. He would come home so tired and was moody from the changes his body was going through switching back and forth. He quit and went to work for Walmart’s management team when I got my dream job and moved and then we got married and that sucker quit his job bc he said he missed law enforcement. Just when I got settled and was finally able to sleep at night without worrying he was going to get killed (we had about a couple police officers get shot in a couple months time there for a while so I would struggle sleeping when he worked nights. Now he’s back in law enforcement and I moved leaving my dream job and now I know no one and have no job and lonely. There’s a law enforcement support group for wives but it’s mostly women who talk about statistics of how PO’s cheat and I can’t deal with all that. Good luck! Being married to John Wayne is a difficult role so my hats off to you and welcome to the world of being a LEW! 

Post # 11
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m in the exact same situation.   I’m super-lonely where I am.  I don’t get to see anyone else at all.  I don’t have any opportunity at all to meet anyone else and my FH is way younger than the rest of the force (which is quite small).  

 

On top of that, when he does get home all he wants to do is play videogames with his friends.  He’s seriously the ONLY person I see all day and it pisses me off.  Especially since there’s been some storms the last few days and I hate storms 🙁

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