(Closed) LDR Bees: Date Set, He’s in One State and You’re in Another…MY FEAR is…

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yes they can. They can be very exhausting and sometimes you just have a really craptastic day. But you know what? The next day you wake up, the blues are gone.

As someone who HAD a long distance marriage, it isn’t the end of the world. If anything, it gives you another bonus to look forward to. Keep faith that there WILL be a happy ending, maybe just not the exact same one you have in your head.Granted you could always plan on getting married later, but I know for me this wasn’t an option. I didn’t want to wait MORE time to get married–and dammit if we weren’t gonna have a summer wedding =].

Is it completely infeasible for you to move and THEN look for a job? It may be easier to get one once you are in the city. Can your current company do anything to transfer you?

Sorry you have the blues, though! I have no solid advice for you…just plug through your day, go for a run, have a good dinner, a glass of wine, and watch something on tv. All the good shows (house, 24, etc) are back on after an Olympics haitus =]

Post # 4
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sure that you two can find a way to be together after you get married.  Is there any way that you can save up now so that you can be unemployed for a while until you can find a job near him?

Post # 5
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Whoa, you’ve still got some time! Don’t start panicking yet, you’ll find a job there. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about uncertainty in the future, it’s that you have to take it one day at a time. be realistic about some things (we had to move our date) but for other stuff like finding a job, where are we going to live, etc–don’t worry so much!

Post # 6
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

LDRs and LDMs are hard and they suck…but when you are married to the one you know you are supposed to be with, it gives you motivation to do what it takes to make things work.  I’m almost 3 months into my LDM (haven’t seen him since a week after the wedding) and hopefully only have 7 more months to go until he’s living with me.  So, trust me, I know how bad they truly truly suck.  I guess you just learn to roll with the punches.  One thing that keeps me going is I always tell myself that every morning I wake up, is just one day closer until the hubby can live with me.  I have my LDR blues too, so don’t beat yourself up over it.  It’s natural.  The other day I was having a serious blah day.  I was calculating the days Darling Husband and I had spent in eachother’s presence in the two years we’ve been together.  And over that two years, we’ve only been in the “same place” for about 45 days….45 days out of 730 days!!!  Sometimes I groan and roll my eyes when I hear about people complaining about a LDR being 2 hours from their significant other…then I calm myself down and remind myself that LDRs are hard no matter what.  When you aren’t with the one you love, it stinks big time!

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