LDR – did getting engaged make it easier?

posted 5 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I personally think that getting engaged has made the distance slightly easier for me, but only because it’s made me busier (with wedding planning). But at the end of the day, it’s still not enough to make me forget about the distance entirely or stop being sad every day that we’re not together. I wish we could spend our engagement days together, but we will get to spend the rest of forever together and that’s enough for me. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

@ThatOneGirl9613:  I totally agree with you there. Getting engaged made me less sad sometimes but at the same time I’m like “oh wow I wish I could show Fiance this.”

Post # 5
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

When I got engaged it kind of gave this sense of permanence. It was just enough to keep my head from falling off my shoulders. Being apart makes you crazy, it really does. It kind of helped. Because now all we talk about is how many kids we want to have and where we want to live eventually. You know, engaged people things. Gets you excited and makes waiting a bit more bearable.

Post # 6
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It really has, I got engaged a week ago! My Fiance came to visit for a surprise and he left on wednesday, and even though I still miss him like crazy, It does make it easier. Much more so! We still have a year to go long distance but having a set commitment makes it seem mroe worth while, now don’t get me wrong, even if I hadnt I would have waited for him until the end of days because he’s the one, but having that ring on my finger, reminds me, that when things get rough, we are going through this for a reason, its something tangible to hold on to.

Post # 7
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I got engaged during my LDR, and it ended up really changing my feelings about remaining in a LDR.  Up until that point, I was content being not quite so serious, spending lots of time with friends, being super independent, etc.  However, once that ring was on my finger, reality hit faster than I expected.  About 2-3 months afterward, I ended up pushing for him to move to my city because my feelings were so strong that if we were getting married soon, we needed to live together first.

 

Long story short, for me, getting engaged did not make it easier.  I think it makes more sense to wait until closer to the wedding date, and avoid the new feelings that being engaged might bring.  Had my Fiance been less flexible about his career path, I’m afraid it might have been a wedge driving us apart during our engagement.

 

Post # 8
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think so, it give your relationship a purpose and clear direction as to where it is going. You become more committed to your partner and the feelings get stronger. When you are just dating there may be a committment but there is always a period when you have to decide is this what I really want? How does he feel? Does he see himself with me long term? All these questions are answered when you become engaged.

You sit down with your partner and decide how long the engagement will be. If you want children? If you want to buy a house before you have children? All these questions determine your future with your Fiance.

Any LDR sucks but knowing that the man I have waited my life for will be home for good makes it all worth it to me. 

Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

katza:  hello

I am going through the same thing like you, what happened with you? I am curious because me and my girlfriend are the same thing as you guys 

Post # 9
Member
36 posts
Newbee

Yes and no. It gave a “new” period of a honeymoon kind of phase where both of us were just excited to get married. So that’s the more exciting part of being engaged is that you feel even more attached. It’s a little more difficult because when you’re planning the wedding and so forth, you want so badly for your SO to be there too. There’s a lot of different experiences that comes with it though! 

Post # 11
Member
296 posts
Helper bee

katza:  I at least read your reply and found your story to be very sweet. I do am in a long distance relationship and in those really down moments I find sometimes reading other peoples stories makes things that much easier. Hope you have a fantastic wedding 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
777 posts
Busy bee

I know this is an old post, but my situation is currently very similar. I got engaged a couple weeks ago and we have two more years as a long distance couple. He is military and I am still in school. I graduate May of 2018 and we are planning the wedding for the weekend after my graduation. Seeing that you finally made it gives me hope that the time may pass faster than it feels. We can’t live together until we are married per the rules of the military, but we’re high school sweethearts and went to the same university for a year (living a 5 minute walk from each other). Congratulations on your engagement and wedding! If you have any advice for the next 2 years, please share!

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I know this is an old post but I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 2 years (I’m from Hong Kong and he’s from Los Angeles). He proposed during my Christmas visit and we’re getting married this coming November. Being engaged made long distance a LOT more bearable. It gave me peace and happiness knowing I have something permanent and since we live so far from each other, not knowing when we’ll see each other again was my biggest misery. However, since he proposed, I’m convinced that this long distance is only temporary. We no longer cried our hearts out at the departures area when I left because we both know it’s the last goodbye and that my one-way flight towards him would be very soon. ❤️

Post # 14
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Well I’ll chime in too! For me LD and engaged has become both harder and easier. Easier in what many others here mention, especially for some who have it even worse than I do (about 4 hours apart currently). But for me it has made us start trying to figure out how we can close the gap because we can’t stand being apart as much anymore.

Post # 15
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

I’ll throw my hat in the ring. I think getting engaged as a long distance couple definitely made it easier! I felt that there was an end date to our distance so we could finally start realistically planning our lives together! 

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