(Closed) LDR dilemma – advice needed!

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I hope that he’ll be able to support your decision (whatever it ends up being). I’m an educator myself and I understand your unwillingness to leave. I can’t tell you what you should do, but I think your SO should understand your reasons for considering staying for a few more months.

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think there are other questions you need to ask yourself.

Do you need this experience to promote your career? If you ever need to, do you have the skills needed to support yourself?  This job could be necessary for that.  If it is, then I think you should stay and you need to let him know that he needs to support your career decision at the moment. That you are not choosing kids over him.

Have you figured out the logistical pieces already? Can you move there mid year and be able to get a job or get the visa you need? If not than maybe you should work on that while you keep the job.

If all of that is taken care of, then you need to decide what you want. At some point we all need to compromise for the other one, but ask yourself if you are willing to move to Australia, why is he not willing to support you to stay another 6 months.  His feelings are real so address that you are not choosing the kids over him, but are choosing to do something for yourself. To test your own skills and abilities. To do something good for kids that dont see or get a lot of good.

Post # 6
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

That’s so hard.  I completely understand where your fiance is coming from, and I know that if my husband told me he wanted to live apart because of his job, I’d be totally bummed.  However–you’re working with a group of kids that really need you and you’re doing important work.  I think you need to really evaluate what will happen if you leave mid-year.  Talk to your fiance about it and see if you can get his help working through this dilemma.  Guys are problem solvers.  If you say, “Honey, I want us to be together in the same country as soon as possible, but here’s what I’m worried about happening when I leave these kids in the middle of the year…” he may feel more like this is a problem the two of you are solving together, rather than feeling like you’re deciding (on your own) to prioritize your job over him.  Good luck, and KUDOS on taking a difficult job that improves children’s lives!   

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