Post # 1
Some background; I work for an amazing, yet very small, company which is based in Europe and has an office here in the states where I work. I have been at my job for 4 years now. I work with 4 guys and we are all very friendly with each other as we have all worked together so long. When I went to the corporate office in Europe we even stayed at the CEO’s house – she is a woman – that is how tight knitted the company I work for is. I have ZERO college experience and make great money, I got very lucky with this job.
Well, now my Boyfriend or Best Friend of almost 4 years is moving 350 miles away in 3 weeks to pursue a job and I will follow him 5 months later when we are married. I plan on taking 2 vacay days a month to go visit him then I will eventually quit my job come the end of Dec. My boss stumbled across some email I stupidly left on my comp. a couple years back talking about my BF’s possible move, he got worried and even brought it up with me but I assured him I wouldn’t be leaving then as the opportunity fell through, he has forgotten about it since.
Question: Where do I tell him I am going when I take the vacay time twice a month for 5 months? Eventually he will realize the pattern, lol. Or do I just tell him straight off the at what my plans are? Two weeks notice will not be enough at my job, they will need some time to bring someone else in to train, 1 month or more. I am not afraid of them letting me go if I tell them early but how early is too early from a professional perspective?
I know my employers will be very happy for me, yet sad to see me go, but they realize that I am still young and this would happen eventually, have even said this before.
Thanks for your help bees!
Post # 3
You don’t have to say why you’re taking it. Just say it’sfor personal reasons that you’re not comfortable discussing.
Post # 4
I agree with twista. Just tell them you’re going to take the time and dont reveal to your boss you’re quitting until the require two weeks notice!
Post # 5
You say that you aren’t worried that they would let you go early but I have seen this happen to two folks and they didn’t think it would happen either. Turthfully they can legally walk you out the day you give notice. Now, I doubt that will happen. But you have to be prepared for it. Take your vacation just how you would any other vacation but when it is time to give notice make sure that if the worst happened that you could pay for your bills and your move without that two week notice income. Just in case.
Post # 6
I work for a super small company – so I completely get the dynamics. If it were me – I’d tell them that Fiance is moving to x city to see if he wants a job out there. If it ends up working out for him, you’d end up moving after the wedding. I think if you leave it as if it’s up in the air – but there is a good chance you’ll be going – it’s the best way to go about it….
Post # 7
Is there a possibility to use up some of your vacay like you normally would and then get cashed out for the rest? That may be a better option so it won’t appear that you are using up the time just because you are quiting soon.
Post # 8
Thanks for your replies so far, definitely taking all into consideration!
Edisongirl – I have just enough time to be able to visit my Boyfriend or Best Friend twice a month for 5 months. If I don’t take vacay time then I don’t see him 🙁
ADDED DETAILS: I am staying behind 5 months to save extra $ for the move, I live at my mom’s still, paying very little rent, and I have already paid off my car, I can just bank the extra money for 5 months so I don’t necesarily need the vacation payout.
Post # 9
Well if you are close to the people that you work with..I would give them a little heads up. I was in the same situation a few years ago.
Boyfriend or Best Friend got xfered from MA to CA. He moved out 9/07. I told my company about the move and that I would be moving out there with him..just not sure what time frame yet (and at the point i didn’t). Once I did get the date I told them..I also gave them 9 months notice too. I also documented in detail my day to day routine, made manuals & etc.
When you said your boss got nervous, maybe he was worried that you would leave them in a lurch. I would just take my vacation for now and then about 2 months out tell him the truth, Fiance moved out there for a job, you have been travelling back and forth and its now time for you leave. Tell them your end date and that you will do everything you can in making the transition to the new person as seamless as possible.
Post # 10
@Soon2bBB: Ah I see. Well I would just take the time as needed and give proper notice. Maybe a little extra notice. Since you work for a smaller company who probably depends on the work that you do, it maybe wise to not tell them tooo early as they could find your replacement faster than you are ready to leave. I guess a month or so notice would enough for them to find someone and you possibly show the next person the ropes.
Post # 11
So I have been thinking that maybe I will fib and tell my boss that my Boyfriend or Best Friend is moving teporarily – i.e. a few months – to lend a hand and help out at a friend’s business as they are short of hands at the moment… That they are offering him good pay just for helping out TEMPORARILY and he couldn’t refuse. That I’d like to take 2 Fridays a month – our least busy days – to go visit him while he is away. Then at the end of those few months I will say that they offered him a job, he proposed (should have by then, lol) and I am moving too. This will give them 2 months to find a replacement, giving me time to train someone.
OH! So sneaky! LoL.
I know a few of you suggested not telling anything but that just would be weird at my work, we are all pretty close. BUT I do realize that it is still a business and that I have to be smart about it. I think this fib should work AND it won’t be too far from the truth.
Post # 12
If you don’t take the vacation, would you cash out the vacation time? That’s how mine works. My company wouldn’t actually fire me if i told them i was leaving by X….so I can’t really relate, so ignore my advice if it doesn’t fit
But otherwise, just tell them you’re visiting your Fiance. They aren’t stupid–they probably know you’re leaving. They’ll ask questions. I got them ALL THE TIME when I was visitng Darling Husband in Savannah. EVERYBODY asked if i was moving. You can’t avoid the question without looking like you’re lying so just sorta try to skirt the line without answering if you aren’t comfortable answering them truthfully.
Post # 13
ejs4y8 – My company doesn’t technically do the payout-if-you-don’t-use-your-time thing it just rolls over into the next years vacation time BUT they will do payouts if one of us gets into a pickle and needs money. We don’t take vacation time often at my work, we each have our own responsibilities and although there is someone that can cover for one of the 5 of us it is just hard because they aren’t used to it and we all love our jobs.
I, honestly, do not think for one second that they’d let me go if they knew I planned on leaving. In fact I think they’d be happy to know with extra time. They are all wonderful people, they will probably even give me a generous wedding present when I do leave. I am very lucky to have gotten this job and anyone that I tell about it says that the things my company does is unheard of. Like I said though, I do have to be smart about it. I think my lil fib would be the safest way to go yet it would still not leave them in a bind.
Post # 14
@Soon2bBB: I really would recommend telling your employeer now of your intentions. It’ll be so much easier that they know you are planning to go, can hire someone in enough time, and you won’t have to lie about your vacation time. They’ll respect you so much more for being straightforward. It sounds like a good company and I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you moving on with your life.
I was in a similar close office type job for 3 years. I quit when I left for medical school, which my boss knew was coming. I had originally planned to stay until about June, but my boss and I had never had a serious discussion about this and nothing was official about it. For various reasons, I ended up giving 30 days notice at the beginning of March. My boss was LIVID. I received really poor treatment after that until he finally came around in my last week of work. Every situation is different, but from my experience, telling someone as soon as you can is a good idea. It’s actually less pressure than “oh, by the way,I’m only going to be here for two weeks…” They’ll have time to get used to the idea.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t say anything. Your vacay is your vacay and no one needs to know what you are doing with it. Also, you don’t even have to tell them you are quitting until 2 weeks before. That’s all you owe them! I definitely wouldn’t do it any sooner than 1 month prior to your leave date. You wouldn’t want to be fired or terminated early because of that and then out of a paycheck.
Post # 16
I was in a similar-ish situation.
But I went into my job long distance so I started taking those long weekend vacation days as soon as the 90 days hit…then my Fiance got an unexpected job/grad school acceptance so I decided to move with him after the wedding although I was pretty sure I would anyway (his previous job moved a lot so I wasn’t sure where I could work).
Anyway, I was in a similar situation, I KNEW I needed to give them a lot of time to interview candidates, etc. b/c it’s a hard position to fill. They are sad to see me go but were appreciative for the 6 weeks notice I gave them (esp since things got buuuusy recently).
As for your vacation situation can you work remotely? That’s how I handled most of my long weekends….put in 40-50 hours in 4 days or use one weekend day of the previous weekend. Or bring a laptop and work while traveling etc. We’re a really flexible company, so I’m not sure if that’s possible for you, but if they NEED you’re help and you feel most comfortable being honest it might be worth a try.