Post # 1
So I got married in a slapdash mess of an affair that our mothers threw together, but we paid for. It ended up being a 400 person circus, full of relatives that commented on how we are going to hell, and how terrible we are for this reason or that, and people I didn’t know. It was an utter disaster,and my family made me cry the entire day. So we decided that when we decided to get sealed we would have our day, the small intimate gathering, with just our close friends and imediate family, to celebrate our decision to be sealed together for eternity. Now that we have picked when and where to do be sealed, our families are calling us selfish for a couple of different reasons, such as we already had a wedding, why should we get another & we are not inviting every member of our families (which would make the head count near 250 people, not exactly the small gathering we want).
What would you do in the given situation?
Post # 3
Wow, I’m a little surprised… Every LDS couple I’ve known has had two celebrations: 1) a small sealing and small reception with immediate family/close friends only and 2) a giant, open house reception with pretty much everyone in town.
I would do what YOU want to do and ignore your family’s comments. What you described is super common, at least in my area, and I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m sorry your family isn’t being very supportive, though. 🙁 I hope they come around before your sealing.
Post # 4
I can’t believe you paid for a wedding that they planned! I’m not LDS, but I don’t think it matters in this case – do what you want! It’s your wedding!!!!!!
Post # 5
@t.doty: wow. I’m not a member of LDS, but I just wanted to say I’m so sorry your families are making you feel bad. I hope you make it the day you and your hubby want! Can’t please everyone. 🙂
Post # 6
I’m not LDS, but I’ve heard several LDS brides say that they wanted their sealing ceremony to be very small and special. I think it’s entirely appropriate for it to be an intimate celebration with only those who support and care about you. Your extended family is obviously not interested in treating you with kindness or honoring your marriage with a joyful spirit, and they’re going to complain no matter what, so I don’t see why you should invite them.
Post # 7
@t.doty: Oh my…I am extremely sorry for all the heartache you are experiencing. I will say that you may have an easy out on this one. I don’t know which temple you plan to be sealed in, but most sealing rooms don’t hold alot of people. I think the sealing room Darling Husband and I were in only held 15, maybe 20 people max. I know that the Salt Lake Temple has rooms that can hold up to 40 people, but I believe that is an exception. With that being fact, you simply can not invite anyone and everyone to your sealing ceremony. Like the other bees have said, these ceremonies are often small. I am soooo glad mine was. I grew up LDS and always wanted to be married in the temple, so I knew it would be small in numbers, but that’s what we had the reception for…
I am completely baffled by your family’s reactions. First of all, you should never have been made to feel bad. The reason you and your Darling Husband had a civil marriage first is your decision. Secondly, they should be THRILLED you guys are going to the temple if they truly understand the wonderful and special experience it is!
Please feel free to PM me if you need to chat!
Post # 8
It sounds as if you got married civilly and are waiting 1 year before you are sealed? That is completely normal for a lot of LDS and yet it still may be the reason you will “go to hell” even so, that is COMPLETELY ridiculous on so many accounts because you will be sealed nonetheless! Sometimes LDS can be so closed minded its amazing.
No matter what, its YOUR sealing and that’s what is important. Your sealing day is one of the most important days of your life and sealing rooms are very small fitting at the MAX 30 people. not 150. These people need to mind their own business, obviously. I’m sorry your wedding day had to be so difficult.