(Closed) Learning to embrace my curves. The pressure of family.

posted 5 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Tiffner:  Hi πŸ™‚ I’m almost in the same boat with you! I am around 11/12 in size and I’m also 5’5″.  I have a sister who’s a 1-4 in size.  I’ve always been compared to her, and sometimes I wish I could just be skinny so I wouldn’t have to deal with it …lol. I’m also more bottom heavy (which my fiancee doesn’t mind at all πŸ™‚

but… I know exactly how you feel. I feel that pressure (especially from my mom) alot. She keeps saying “oh you’re this size now? what about when you have kids?”…*sigh*…. I was a size 14 a few months ago and lost about 15 pounds. My wedding is in April and I do fear that my pictures will make me look a little fat, but I love the way I look right now. I love my shape. I do want to tone up a few areas, but I love my figure πŸ™‚  I wish you the best! I’m happy you love your figure πŸ™‚ Stay strong!

Post # 4
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I do. I’ve never really been small. At my smallest I was a size 9, but now I’m a 12/14/16 and it’s a constant struggle to feel good about myself. My mom keeps pressuring me to lose weight (I lost 20 pounds recently) and both of my grandparents love to remind me that I’m “close to obese” and that “no one wants to be a fat bride” on a regular basis. It’s hard, but I’ve decided that I WILL look good on my wedding day, even if I am a 12/14/16 and my family will just have to get over it. 

Like you, I would like to lose more weight, but I’ll be ok if I don’t by the time I buy my dress. 

Post # 6
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I so so so feel you on this. I am a size 16/18. Literally, my whole life I have felt fat, even when I wasn’t, and even though I know girls who are my current size who I think are absolutely gorgeous.

My parents have had weight issues but have managed to lose a lot of weight over then last 5-10 years, and my brother is very fit (and his wife, like your sister, is tiny). I always feel like my brother and mom judge what I eat around them. About half the time I see my mom, she hopefully says, “I think you might have lost some weight!” It is hard to not get down on yourself. At one point, my fiance’s grandmother told me, “Your mom has the figure of an eighteen year old,” and then she added that I could stand to drop a few pounds. Gee thanks- and this coming from a woman heavier than myself. Gotta love it.

I completely get where you are coming from! I was literally mulling writing a post about this (and maybe I still will soon) that at the end of the day, we just have to feel good with ourselves no matter our size. You are going to be a gorgeous bride! (And your engagement ring in your profile picture is so pretty!) I’m going to be a gorgeous bride too. And heck, yes, I would love to continue to lose some weight before the wedding, but if it doesn’t happen, it isn’t the end of the world. I will be wearing the most beautiful dress with amazing accessories, and most importantly getting married to my best friend- and you will too!

Sorry for the long post- it just struck a chord in me πŸ˜‰

Post # 7
Member
678 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Tiffner:  Yep, me too. We sound pretty similar (I am a little shorter at 5′ 4″). The smallest I have ever been was a 6 on bottom, and at the time I was running miles and miles and there was no way I could have sustained that size. And of course, my top shrunk to like a 0 so I was still that bottom-heavy shape I have been battling against my whole life.

I think my mom has learned to just zip it when it comes to weight comments. She used to refer to me as being “as broad as a barn” but that was years ago, I think she realizes how hurtful and simply not necessary that is. We are who we are, and we have to just move on. Sorry you are still dealing with it- have you ever let her know how you feel??

I worry all the time about looking horrible in photos. I have learned to enjoy having the shape that I do instead of fighting it, but I still have the feeling that I will look “bigger” and “beefier” than everyone else, even if I keep working hard to tone up πŸ˜›

 

Post # 8
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Tiffner:  I wouldn’t worry about what your mom says, if you feel beautiful in your dress that is all that matters. I am a bit on the curvy side too and it took me a while to embrace it. While, it is nice to want to lose some of the weight and be more fit, I realize it is going to take time and that’s why I am embracing what I look like now. I figure as long as I don’t gain more weight, I am fine as is and if I lose weight before my wedding great and if not I am beautiful as I am. And as a person who doesn’t like their photo being taken, I know what you mean about worrying about looking horrible in photos. Taking engagement photos really eased my nervousness with our wedding photographer, she was able to get the best sides of both me and my Fiance. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 9
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ugh feel your pain.  My mom was a size 2 after 5kids, and all my sister in laws, after kids, are a size 2…

My dad cried when he saw me in my dress (my mom has passed away so he came  with me) he said I looked so happy and so beautiful.  As long as YOU FEEL pretty in it that’s all that matters.

Post # 10
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m size 14 street, 16 wedding dress, and struggled with this alot. I started this thread and all the lovely ladies on here made me feel alot better. http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/size-14-16-18-brides

Now that my wedding’s over, looking back on the photos it’s the happiness that shines through. You’ll be gorgeous on your wedding day!

Post # 11
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Tiffner:  Man, screw your mom. I’m sorry but that really makes me angry. I don’t mean to really say that about your mom. I keep having a similar problem.

 

I’m a size 14/16 and people have CONTINOUSLY asked  me if I’m losing weight or why haven’t I lost weight yet. I’m at the point to wear I’m not too concerned about it. My fiance already thinks I am the most beautiful I could ever be, because that’s how he views me all the time.

 

I think with times like this we just have to remember what our grooms/brides think, because we all know they love having something to hold on to, ammaright?

Post # 12
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

How rude of her to say that. Of course you want it to fit perfectly–who wants to pay for alterations? What a b.

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My husband met me when I was a size 8 (God I miss that ass) but I was wearing size 16’s when he proposed.  And the look on his face when he saw me in my (size 18) wedding dress….  he couldn’t have been happier.  Not if I were a size 8, not if I had a smaller waist, not if my arms didn’t jiggle.  I was his wife – the woman he wanted more than anything to be married to.

Focus on that.  Forget the hurtful things your family says.  They will never stop being hurtful, but they’ll get less common the more confident you are in your own body. 

The topic ‘Learning to embrace my curves. The pressure of family.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors