(Closed) learning to trust?

posted 10 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This sounds like a really frustruating experience, honey.  I’m really sorry! 

From the sound of your post, it doesn’t sound like you may have gotten to the bottom of the situation.  Was he truly responding to the post out of boredom? Or is his struggling with something deeper than that?  In a caring, loving, way, I might confront him about why he was responding to the post in the first place if that issue has not been solved.  Make sure you let him know that you’re not just concerned because he did something behind your back, but you truly care about what’s going on with him, what he might be struggling with, and how you can be supportive.  He may feel better about being completely honest and vulnerable after you voice how much you care about him, outside of what he may have done to hurt you.  If you still don’t feel like trust is restored and still feel weird, maybe talk to a neutral third party, like a counselor.  You deserve to feel trust in your relationship!

Post # 4
1102 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you’ve gotten to the bottom of it either. Lots of otherwise straight guys are curious about experimenting with other men, and if he is then I think he needs to be honest about it with you. It might be hard to hear, but you need to make it safe for him to be honest so you can figure out what to do next. All the best, I can’t imagine how confused you must be feeling.

Post # 5
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh wow. I am sorry you found that and I am sorry he did that. I think you may have to ask him to reveal the truth to you. Whether it be curiosity or just a stupid game (which is hard to believe). Try not to get too worked up over it. I may want to have or am curious about having a sexual encounter with a person of the same sex BUT that does not mean I have to act on it. It also doesn’t mean that I would act on it because I love my Fiance and I enjoy our life together as it is. Of course there is something more to you husband’s story and you will have to get to the bottom of it quickly. He could be Bi-sexual, he may not be. I am hoping he will be willing to let his guard down to talk to you about it so the two of you can decide what to do about it together. Best of luck to you both!

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