Post # 1
Okay, here’s the situation. I’ve got a male friend, and we had “talked” before, fooled around, and then had sex. Each time I spent the night (which really only happened like 4 times), even if nothing happened, I would leave before he woke up. I just feel bad waking him up!
The other night, after not hanging out for months, we got very drunk, and fell asleep. I have a boyfriend, and we’re both very clear that we’re just friends at this point – I talk to him about my relationship issues, he talks to me about his issues in life, etc. We know there’s no romance between us because I’m not his type, and he’s too much of a “fun time” guy for me. We fell asleep, and nothing happened, because he knows I’m a loyal type of girl. Long story short, I left without saying bye. But today, I posted a funny story about my boyfriend and I on Facebook, and I get the feeling he’s mad at me.
Is leaving without saying goodbye such a big deal? Or is it the boyfriend thing? I don’t think anything of it, because I thought we were all clear, but could he be mad about that?
Post # 2
Even if you have good intentions, even if you’re strict about keeping things platonic with this guy, you really shouldn’t be sleeping over when you have a boyfriend. If you’re drunk, get a cab or have a friend pick you up, or just don’t drink too much when you’re at his place. No matter how innocent you think it is, there is just too much room for things to get messy in this situation.
This whole thing screams: BAD IDEA.
Post # 3
Ask him – just be straight up and don’t try and assume anything.
Post # 4
Why are you sleeping at this guy’s place? Even if there is nothing (anymore) between you guys, I think it’s a no go in a relationship. How would you feel if your boyfriend sometimes slept at some girl’s place he used to hook up with? Nothing wrong with hanging out once in a while, but make sure you get home, call a cab or whatever.
And about leaving before he wakes up and him being mad, well, just ask him. We don’t know him, we cannot read his mind. Good luck.
Post # 5
I think the bigger issue here is how close you are with this male friend of yours. You are definitely playing with fire.
Post # 6
What is giving you the feeling he’s mad at you? It sounds like you’re judging that based off him maybe not liking your post on FB or something which is pretty juvenile.
I’m not even going to touch you sleeping over at a friend’s house with whom you used to have sex while you have a BF. Hopefully your BF knows about that and is cool with it.
Post # 7
I’ve learned that when I have a boyfriend or someone I’m really into that any guys I had anything with feelings, sex a crush anything I cut them off. It’s only fair to the relationship that you be completely open to the new relationship. At the beginning when me and my Fiance first started dating I still hung out with this guy I had no future with but we were always very attracted to each other and I ended up cheating and we took alot longer to get engaged then if I would have just cut all the guys out in the first place.
Post # 8
You know who could tell you exactly what’s wrong? Your guy friend.
You know who has no idea? A bunch of Internet strangers.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
Why do you think he is mad? Instead of worrying about it, just shoot him a text and see what’s up. The longe you wait, the worse it will be.
Post # 10
Oh, he does. I’m very honest about it. In my opinion, it’s when you start having to hide something that it causes a problem for your relationship.
No, I get the feeling that he’s mad at me because I texted him twice about something we had talked about it, and he’s either ignoring me or being short with me, respectively.
Well, we are very close. My boyfriend and I have known each other for 5 years. We were together for 2 years, and apart for one. He wanted to marry me, which was why I originally signed up for this site. We got back together to give things a try, but broke up today because he has unresolved issues with the girl he dumped for me. But that’s a whole ‘nother thing.
It was during this year apart that I met my guy friend. He was there for me during some very serious business.
Also, I recognize that it probably wasn’t the best thing to do. It might not sound like it, but I’m normally very smart about this sort of thing. In 3 years, I’d never even flirted with a man other than my boyfriend. The thing was, that morning he (my boyfriend) told me that he didn’t really love me anymore, so the best thing I could think of doing was hanging with my friend.
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Editing comment after reading OP’s update:
I wouldn’t assume he was mad at you for anything based on just that. He could have any number of things going on in his own life that alter his behavior right now. Give it some time and see if anything changes over the next few days.
Post # 12
I am so confused.
You say “We know there’s no romance between us because I’m not his type, and he’s too much of a “fun time” guy for me.” so why would he be mad about you posting something on FB about your boyfriend (which he knows you have)? Do you even know he’s mad?
And why would you assume that he’s mad because you left without saying goodbye? Is that really the only possible thing he could be upset about? If anything, I’d wager that he’s more likely to be upset thinking that you’re leading him on/giving him the impression that you’re into him, but then turning around and posting lovey dovey things about your BF all over FB before I would think he’s upset about you not saying goodbye.
ETA: Just saw your update and imma bow out of this thread now. My braincells don’t want to work this hard on a Sunday to figure all that out. Good luck!
Post # 13
Wait…you said you “have” a boyfriend and today you posted a funny status about him and you. But also, today, you broke up with the boyfriend?
Too much drama…
Post # 14
Alright, that’s fair. I’m not really explaining myself well here.
I guess I assume he’s mad, or at least annoyed, because he started ignoring my texts. That’s what made me think that perhaps everything is not as cool as I thought, and that perhaps he thought there was a romantic possibility.
I would certainly hope he doesn’t think I’m leading him on! I’m very honest. We talked about everything that was going on with my relationship. The good, too, not just the bad.
But thank you for the input! This is exactly the sort of thing that I want to know.