(Closed) Leaving home

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m pretty independent and I moved out right after high school for college, but my family is still very close. We text often, and FaceTime or Skype once a week or so. Seeing their faces when I’m states away is much nicer than phone calls, when possible. I’d look into scheduling time to visit your folks/family, and also look into setting up regular calls/Skype chats. Looking forward to a scheduled chat or a monthly dinner may help you keep in touch without being too tied to home, making it harder to transition. 

That’s my key advice: know that it is a transition, and do your best to work through the discomfort of missing home to put your marriage first. Setting up your new boundaries with your families as a newly married couple can be a challenge, but having a ‘game plan’ can help a bit. Talk with your SO about frequency of visits, weekend vs day trip, etc. Being on the same page can go a long way, especially with such an emotional issue of missing family and family involvement.

Post # 4
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@classyclassicsgirl:  Great advice from indibee. I would also add that a way to help you transition might also be to bring some special items from home that comfort you. A special quilt or pillow from your room, so that you in essence bring a piece of home with you. Also, have a specific plan or project in mind for your new surroundings. Maybe you’ll start a garden or set up a desk for yourself somewhere. Find something creative to help you settle in and be excited. I went from living solo in a gorgeous little cottage that may as well have been right out of Snow White to living with my husband and his two sons in what I can safely say is *not* a home out of Snow White. But, we are managing, and through time I’ve found a way to make it home and we’re brightening it up together. You will make it through, and it is nice your family isn’t too far away. You can visit lots and set up special time together. 🙂 Hang in there!

Post # 5
Member
3173 posts
Sugar bee

I moved out when I was 18 from Massachusetts to California. I try to go back to visit every summer. I used to call every day but now it’s once a week.

Post # 7
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I moved to live with my Fiance before we were married because he was relocating from my home state (where we met and started dating) to FL, about 3000 miles away. We had been together for 3.5 years at the time but I was very similar to you in that I had always lived at home or nearby (My mom made me live in the dorms for college 30mins away because she wanted me to experience the independence and I cried!). Leaving my mom was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I remember crying the entire first hour of the trip as my poor dad drove the uhaul.

It wasn’ as bad as I thought it would be. That first part is the hardest, but if you get to be with someone you love, it is totally worth it. I ended up visiting my family a lot and video chatting/texting/etc. Technology make it much easier and when all else fails, hop in the car. Its just a ride away.

 

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