Leaving kids in the car? Poll.

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Would you leave an 11 year old and baby in a car alone for a few minutes?
    No. : (118 votes)
    44 %
    Maybe, depends. : (88 votes)
    33 %
    Yes. : (60 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t have children, but I just feel like it’s not worth the risk. I don’t think you’re a terrible person, but you just don’t know what can happen in those 5 minutes. Better to be safe than sorry. 

    I called the cops when I noticed three large dogs in a car with the windows only cracked a bit. It was maybe 7am, not blistering hot, but still where I live it can get a little warm especially in a car with the windows up. The owner turned out to be just chilling on his laptop inside a Starbucks having a coffee. Why even bring your dogs with you? 

    Post # 62
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee

    [comment deleted for violating TOS]

    Post # 63
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee

    There are sick people out there in the world who could have snatched them with the windows open. Danger of heat aside, just not a good idea. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    9389 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    View original reply
    saratiara2 :  yeah.  As much as when I hear OP’s side I don’t honestly think she did anything particularly negligent (the 11 year old would’ve been more than capable of hollering at mom and grabbing her attention–its not like mom was out of ear shot or eyesight at any point) I also don’t think the passerby overreacted.  The fact she asked the 11 year old “have you been here long?” shows she was trying to gauge what reaction to take, at all!  If you don’t ask, how the heck could you know if they’d been in there for 4 hours or 4 minutes? 

    I too would rather live in a world where people make sure kids are OK than where they shrug and assume the parents know best.  Too many horror stories of brutally neglected/abused children who have escaped only to have the neighbor or sherrif return them to their abuser because “parents know best”.

    Post # 65
    Member
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    in retrospect i probably wouldnt leave any kids in the car for more then 5 minutes, especially in any form of parking lot of a big box store like walmart, to many crazies out there for me to trust. A quick run in at a gas station i visit daily, sure. But anywhere else, just no. Adults are just as likely to kidnap an 11 year old as they are a newborn. 

    while the older child may be just fine watching over their younger sibling, worse case scenario they probably arent strong enough to fight off someone trying to break into the car.

    Post # 66
    Member
    2763 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2007

    I have 3 kids, 3,6 and 9 and have never/would never leave them alone in the car. I know it’s so annoying to get them out for like 2 minutes and buckled back in. The only gas station in my town does not offer pay at the pump, so I have always had to take them all out of the car to get gas, but it’s just not worth the risks. 

    One of those risks is having a passerby get concerned and report the situation. Kids die every year from being left in cars so I do think she did the right thing checking that yours were ok. 

    I am sure you feel pretty awful right now, but everyone makes mistakes and thankfully yours isn’t a tragic one. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    4855 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    DeniseSecunda :  Why do you always feel the need to chase people on here with a pitchfork if their beliefs do not align with yours?? People don’t say but they sure as hell notice that you do that on here often. Your posts are always some six paragraph relentless diatribe to other bees calling them out or telling them how wrong and uneducated they are… (With some reference to your educational credentials thrown in for good measure)

    You don’t  have to agree with me or others but telling people that they should seek out a critical thinking course is just plain rude and offensive… 😒

    Post # 68
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    One of the PPs on page one mentioned this and I just want to second that: Don’t be angry at the lady who was “meddling.” I’ve read that Pulitzer-winning Washington Post article about parents who have lost their children because they forgot them in a hot car.  I am NOT trying to directly compare what you did to the parents in the article, but just to say that reading that article was viscerally heartbreaking, and I bet every one of those parents would have wished that there had been a meddling stranger who called the cops before it was too late.  I bet if they could, they would choose a citation from the police or a talking-to from CPS to have their child not be gone forever.  

    You knew the situation was (most most likely) not going to be bad, but that lady didn’t.  If one day you really had a mental slip-up and lost track of time or what-have-you, you would want somebody who couldn’t mind their own business to see it and report it so you or somebody else can intervene before it’s too late.  

    Here is the article. Warning: Very upsetting material. 

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.6a0aef999afe

    Post # 69
    Member
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I don’t see a problem with it & would have done the same, myself. 

    I’m super glad that my kids are older than this, because it would have driven me insane to have to pretend that the world is so unsafe. It’s not. 

    Post # 70
    Member
    1989 posts
    Buzzing bee

    At 11, I was allowed to walk to the neighborhood park, play outside alone, babysit my sister for short intervals of time, etc. based on what you said, I don’t think parking right in front of a store, keeping the kids in eyesight and leaving for truly 5 minutes with all the windows down is horrible. If something was wrong, the 11 year old could have yelled, gotten out, honked the horn and you were watching them so you would have seen it. 

    I am not supportive of parents who lock their kids in the car and go for a 60 minute shopping spree, but this isn’t that. 

    I think the other lady did the right thing by asking the 11 year old ‘hey, you guys okay? You been here long?’. IF he had been dripping with sweat and said he needed help, she wouldn’t have known unless she approached and checked on him. I think taking pics of the license plate is extreme, but maybe she just wNted to document it in case you didn’t come outside shortly and she needed to call the police. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    alley89 :  My cousin did the same thing, only she ran in for pizza. Someone took a pic of her license and reporter her because she left her baby in the car with the windows rolled down. The authorities came and checked out her home to make sure it was okay. After two visits they said she was fine but NOT to leave the child in the car. 

    To this day she thinks she did nothing wrong. 

    Children are inconvenient at times, this is why I never had them. Sometimes you need to, in her situation, wake the kid up and take him into the store even though leaving him in the car would be so much easier. Life sucks. 

    I wouldn’t do it and if you do expect more people taking pics and more visits from the authorities. 

    Post # 72
    Member
    2662 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I ask this: would you want to be left in a hot car on a hot day with just the windows rolled down? Even for five minutes? 

    I know I wouldn’t. Especially if I had no control over the situation. 

    Post # 73
    Member
    5465 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I was left in the car with the AC and radio on as a kid all the time  (in the 80s/90s timeperiod not temp) if I didn’t want to go in. I do think that these days you run the risk of having the cops called on you though. 

    Post # 74
    Member
    749 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    alley89 :  My parents used to leave us in a locked air-conditioned car for a few minutes when I was around 11+. I could see myself doing that as long as my kids were responsible enough not to touch anything.

    However, without A/C on the situation can become very dangerous, and I don’t think I would do that. Take it as a lesson. If someone does show up at your door, tell them the truth and what you have learned from it.

    Post # 75
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    View original reply
    DeniseSecunda :  “Ahh, well, if it comes down to the definition of “unattended,” then I suppose leaving a 4 year old with the baby satisfies your requirements?”

    “Another fallacy!” says the woman using straw man tactics to argue her case. 

    I would like to point out that these requirements are not mine. My comment clearly stated that “most of the laws… are written in a way that expressly prohibits leaving children unattended in vehicles.” I do hope you realize they’re the state’s requirements, written in deliberate, carefully chosen language, as laws tend to be. Nobody is discussing leaving infants in the care of 4 year olds, Denise. 

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