(Closed) Leaving rehearsal dinner early

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
496 posts
Helper bee

I would speak to your daughter about it. I am sure she will understand especially if she knows your girlfriend. 

Post # 3
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

You can take your gf out to a beautiful and romantic lunch (a picnic in a park, maybe?) and then you can BOTH spend the evening at the rehearsal with family

Post # 4
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Why wouldn’t your girlfriend be there with you? Is the night of her Rehearsal Dinner the actual bday? The way you phrase “the night you were going to celebrate” it doesn’t sound like it. 

For what it’s worth, my father would have never left my rehearsal dinner, nor would his girlfriend have asked him to for her bday. I get that birthdays are important to your gf, but your daughter’s wedding is a once in a lifetime event. Birthdays happen every year. I’d ask your daughter if you can bring out a cake for your gf at the Rehearsal Dinner as a compromise, but I’d stay until the end. 

I spent my birthday at a friend’s Rehearsal Dinner this year, and it didn’t even phase me, and I love my birthday! I’d plan a big birthday celebration for the following weekend for your girlfriend, but wouldn’t compromise on your daughter’s wedding celebrations.

Post # 5
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Won’t your gf be at the rehearsal dinner with you? Also you said “the night you’re planning on celebrating,” so is that not her actual birthday?

Post # 8
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
trepper12:  I don’t really understand why you can’t go out on any other night (before or after) to celebrate your girlfriend’s birthday. I’d think it kind of weird if one of the parents of the bride was skipping out early…

Post # 11
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee

I would think this was a bit weird, and I would be a little bit upset with my dad. Why can’t she and her sons come to the rehearsal dinner? Or find a different weekend to celebrate?

Post # 12
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

Seeing that your situation is a bit unique, I would talk to your daughter about the situation. You mentioned its a casual rehearsal dinner, so find out what her plans are for the evening, a timeline for everything, and how long she would like you to be there. Find a compromise. I see nothing wrong with this. 

Post # 13
Member
424 posts
Helper bee

I get that you made a promise to your girlfriend but this is the Rehearsal Dinner for your daughters wedding. I’m sure your gf would understand this or I atleast hope she would. 

I would not be happy if my dad left early for a bday dinner which could happen any other day.

Post # 14
Member
30398 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
trepper12:  I would hope that a 50 year old woman is mature enough to understand that your daughter’s rehearsal dinner trumps her birthday. If she doesn’t get this, I see many issues in your future relationship.

You can take her to the rehearsal dinner, then take her out for drinks and dancing afterwards. Rehearsal dinners traditionally don’t go that late in the evening as everyone needs to be well rested for the next day.

Post # 15
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

 

Why is girlfriend not coming to the rehersal dinner?

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