(Closed) Left behind for a destination wedding when others in the family were invited

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes you should feel hurt, especially since you two are married now.  OB sounds like a real pain in the .. arse.  He may be playing the revenge game since you all didn’t make him a Groomsmen.  I would look at it like you dodged a bullet.  All that money for a week long Destination Wedding with an asshat like that OB… I can’t imagine it would have been fun watching him rag on your Darling Husband after all that money and travel time.  Consider yourself lucky. 

Post # 4
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

It’s generally bad etiquette not to treat a married couple as a social unit.  I’d say particularly so if this is essentially an immediate family member.  I’d pretty much expect my husband to decline the invite in this situation.  Especially with a destination wedding, I think if he’s going to haul himself to whatever exotic locale they’ve selected, the least they can do is host your spouse as well.

Post # 5
8664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Super rude IMO.

Post # 6
140 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe OB didn’t want Dh to go either, and he knew that not inviting you would do the trick? I agree that a couple is considered a social unit, especially one of 14+ years! I doubt it’s anything personal towards you at all, OB just seems like kind of a jerk. So rude! 

Post # 7
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Super rude man. 🙁

Post # 8
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Since you are married and his sister-in-law then yes, it is extremely rude…especially since YBs fiancee was invited too. I think your husband needs to stand up to him. 

Post # 9
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I’d be thanking my lucky stars that I got out of it. These type of weddings IMO are very selfish when you expect family to take so much time off and they quickly become really expensive.

I would however still feel a little annoyed that I wasn’t included but glad that I wouldn’t have to go. 

Post # 10
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That is so rude!! Ugh I would be pissed!

Post # 11
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette snob here…

In the least the following are considered to be “recognized” social units (of which you are one)…

Engaged – Living Together / Common Law Married – Married.

These folks need to be invited as a couple… period.

Not so much when it comes to those who are Dating or Single (given a Plus One)

Altho those in the Wedding Party and immediate Family Members are also normally given Plus Ones.

Long story short… ya, I’d be ticked for the obvious SNUB (your Hubby should be right miffed for you… and having “a chat” with his OB about how RUDE he is to people whom he is related to)

Hope this helps,


Post # 12
8722 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Rude from an etiquette standpoint since they are breaking up social units. But it does seem that they have made a rule and are sticking to it (no partners just blood family).

But since you guys were not going anyway since your DH doesn’t have leave why waste the time being upset by it?


Post # 13
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@j_jaye:  “But it does seem that they have made a rule and are sticking to it (no partners  just blood family).

No, I can see at least 3 non-related partners: bride’s brother’s wife, groom’s stepmother, and groom’s younger brother’s fiancee.

OP, you are being deliberately excluded. (As is your MIL’s partner). Whether it’s because they don’t like you, or don’t like your husband, is unclear. Anyway the correct course of action is for Darling Husband to decline the invite and not send a gift.

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