- Shkragoldfish
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
He’s a groomsman and you’re engaged, so he can ask if he wants to It seems like.
He’s a groomsman and you’re engaged, so he can ask if he wants to It seems like.
You’re not a plus one, you’re a couple. An engaged couple. I wouldn’t let your Fiance say a thing – he should decline the invitation. You can bet my husband wouldn’t be attending any wedding without me, groomsman or not.
Actually, I believe the conversation would go something like this.
“What the fuck man – you think I’m coming to this thing without oneofthesethings? Fuck you!” My H and his friends are so weird. I do know that none of them would pull a stunt like not inviting someone’s partner – they’re grown-ups and know better.
@blueteacup: Do you really think it’s possible that they didn’t invite you?! You are engaged to a groomsman!
I could never imagine any of our friends insulting us like that. Can you? Personally, I would assume that they incorrectly labeled the invitations before I assumed that they were snubbing us – and Fiance would definitely ask.
@blueteacup: How long have you been engaged? Does this couple know?
Do you have to travel for the wedding?
Unless their wedding is like 20 people small, I would find it very strange if you weren’t invited given that you’re engaged to a bridal party member. Even when people cut plus ones, the bridal party and people who are married/engaged usually get to keep theirs.
If he’s a groomsman, he should have been given a plus one – aka you should be invited. However, if you don’t care too much I would leave it alone. It sucks that they left you off but is it worth making them feel awkward?
You are ENGAGED to him, I think he should ask. Why let it go? You aren’t some random person.
@blueteacup: I think your Fiance should say something. I would think common courtesy would dictate that the briday party gets plus-ones before anyone else. I’ve even read etiquette articles that say the bridal party gets a plus-one even if they’re not dating anybody.
He should ask.
As an engaged couple, you’re a social unit and should be invited together. It’s a big faux pas on the couple’s part to not invite you.
@blueteacup: I’d have your fiance ask. Again, the worst they could say is no.
Could he ask any of the other groomsmen if their SOs are invited? Usually, I would try to let the +1 thing go, but with you guys being engaged AND him being in the bridal party, it seems like you might poke around a bit to try to find out more.
Let him ask. If they’re going to be so rude as to invite him without you, they can deal with telling him that directly. It could just be a mistake!
He’s in the bridal party AND he’s engaged…usually either of those two factors are enough to get a +1! Poor etiquette on their part for not inviting you. That’s just bizarre to me. When someone spends their time and money to be a part of your wedding party, it’s incredibly rude not to invite their SO…particularly when they are engaged or married!
@blueteacup: I’d let it go. My son and FDIL are in the process of planning their wedding and, in order to keep costs reasonable, they are making some tough decisions about the guest list (among other things.)
They’ve been saving for a while to start their lives together and would really like to invite everyone, including the +1’s but, ultimately, they decided to keep the expenses at a financially manegeable level.
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