(Closed) Left off an invite. Never wanted to have to post about this crap…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We received an invite to a wedding once and just Fiance was on it (we were just dating at that time) and then we saw the couple at a party and the bride asked if I was coming… awkward! I told her I wasn’t sure I was invited, and she said she just didn’t know my last name so just put his name on the invite lol. I guess it’s good to ask if there is a question!

Post # 48
Member
11465 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@blueteacup:  The rules of etiquette consider you and your fiancé to be a social unit that should be invited together, because your relationship status is included among those who are married or engaged or who are living together (the latter because etiquette presumes that couples who are living together are secretly married — even if people more commonly know that they are not.)  As a result, the hosts were incorrect in excluding you.

However, I’m not sure if there is a polite manner in which your Fiance may inquire regarding your conspicuous absence on the invitation.  I’m thinking that there may be a way. Perhaps @aspasia475:  will see this post and comment. She is the bee who is most knowledgeable regarding all-things etiquette.

Post # 50
Member
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@blueteacup:  I have him ask for sure. I think it’s so rude to no invite the bridal parties SO. FI’s brother is the best men I have only seen his Girlfriend a handful of times but they’ve been together for a year and are serious so I invited her. Only way I wouldn’t invite someone’s SO is if they are super new! like a month

Post # 51
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@blueteacup:  Depends on how small. Less than 100 let it go. More than, possibly an oversight. 

Post # 53
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Wow. My wedding is small and plus ones were given in limited circumstances but all Bridal Party members get a plus one– even if havent met their SO and even in the case that they have only been dating for a short period of time!

Post # 54
Member
11465 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@blueteacup:  That is wonderful news! 🙂

Post # 54
Member
6 posts
Newbee

  blueteacup:  I thought it was understood that anyone invited is allowed to bring a date…I need to rethink my invitations I guess. I was planning for at least 2 people per invite.

Post # 55
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Its rude to not invite the spouse or fiance of a guest.  That being said, if it were me, i would not try to convince him to back out.

Post # 56
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

Let it go.. My brother inlaw has been in alot of wedding my sister wasnt invited to and she was glad of it.. when she goes to a wedding and doesnt know many or any ppl she is extremely bored and my Brother-In-Law feels obligated to try and keep her company..

Post # 57
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

I would give them the benefit of the doubt. I would assume it was an accidental oversight of some sort and not take it as an insult or an “issue” that your Fiance needs to straighten out.

Besides, if your Fiance does speak to them and they feel pressured to invite you… then what? 

Would you really want to go hang out at the wedding of some people you barely know, who only invited you because your Fiance asked about it?

I would view this as an opportunity for a girls’ night out with your friends, while your Fiance attends the wedding. Not a biggie. 

The topic ‘Left off an invite. Never wanted to have to post about this crap…’ is closed to new replies.

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