- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
I’m thinking about getting a pre nup and I know there are a lot of educated Bees so I figured I’d start here before I make phone calls. (I loathe phone calls, lol.) I’m in Canada, BTW!
Here are some of my questions:
1.) Does a pre nup HAVE to be finalized before marriage? I have so much planning to do and money to spend that if I can extend getting this done until after all the craziness stops, that’d be ideal. (I’d be able to get one organized/paid for within the first 90 days, if that makes a difference.) If not, I’ll get it done beforehand, but a few of the things I want included don’t actually apply as of right now which I’ll explain below.
2.) How effective is an infidelity clause? I understand we’d have to define infidelity within the pre nup first so we know what constitutes cheating, but do they even hold up – from a monetary perspective – in court? The only way I’d ever intend to seek money is a result of infidelity. (I do want this clause to apply to me as well.) I didn’t want to enter marriage with this mentality, but I’ve read so much BS on WB that I’m genuinely frightened it could happen to me and I don’t want to go on unprotected.
3.) There’s a very good chance Fiance and I will be gifted my mother’s house in a few years. There will probably be 3-5 years left of mortgage or it will be completely owned by then. I don’t know if this makes me a bad person, but if things should go badly, I don’t want him having access to a house my mother put her blood, sweat and tears into. If it were a house we’d purchased together I’d just 50/50 it, but in this case I want it to remain in my family and my family only. This is where my pre nup get weirder… Is it possible to include only one GENDER in an inheritance? If we have children, I want the house to pass from me to my daughter(s) – not any sons. I want the hosue to stay in the female line for a variety of reasons I can explain if anyone cares, but I don’t think they matter per se.
4.) I’m expecting a mild inheritance. No more than 50,000, but again this is money I’d like to keep to isolated This will be money coming from the female line and although it’ll be used for my Fiance and future family, I just want the final say and more control over it. (His family is terrible with money and he doesn’t quite have the financial sense mine does and I’d rather keep it within mine.)
5. I have student loans and he doesn’t. His only debt is a mild (under 2,000) overdraft. I genuinely don’t think it’s fair that if we end he’s stuck taking any responsibility for my debt. He’s more than willing to work with me to pay it off now (I pay less in bills so I can pay the loan), but I don’t think he should be responsbile for maintaining that lifestyle for me.
Are my requestions reasonable and even possible, lol? I don’t want to roll into a fancy lawyer’s office and look like a total ass hat.