Post # 1
I’m not interested in saying my personal vows in front of people or our JOP. To me they are private.
I’ve been told by several JOP’s that I can hire them to just sign our papers with the witness and be done with it. I’m an atheist so it needs to be secular as well. Does anyone know if this is true? Otherwise what is the bare minimum that I would have to say-can we make this 30 seconds or less? I don’t want intros and sappy love stuff involved-i’ve been with this person almost ten years and already feel married-just want to make it legal.
Post # 2
“Do you?” “Yes”, “do you?” “Yes”. i think that is as short as you can make it.
Post # 3
leapdayrenee: Actual legal requirements vary by where you live, but overall – yes. They can just have you say the bare minimum legal requirement and have your witnesses sign.
Why wouldn’t you believe the JOP’s you’re looking to hire when they tell you that, though?
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor
The requirements should be covered in your state’s family code. For example, in CA the law reads “420. (a) No particular form for the ceremony of marriage is required for solemnization of the marriage, but the parties shall declare, in the physical presence of the person solemnizing the marriage and necessary witnesses, that they take each other as spouses.”
So you could definitely get by just saying “I take you to be my spouse.” to each other.
Double check for your state but if the JOP’s you are talking to are local, they should know.
Post # 5
leapdayrenee: we were told the actual wedding can be 30 seconds. You have to make some sort of promise/declaration of your intent in front of witnesses, be sober, and sign the paper. That’s it.
You can make your own vows whenever however you want.
I even asked if my full legal name had to be used in our ceremony – nope…he couldda called me Princess Sparkles if I wanted him to, as long as the marriage license and certificate have my legal name on it that’s all that mattered.
Post # 6
ICallHimFarmBoy: Because we had every single JOP answer us with a different answer about this. It was confusing. Some said we had to do a ten minute thing some said they could simply sign.
Post # 7
theatrejulia: That would rock. lol I really don’t want to make an occasion out of it. It’s just another day for me.
Post # 8
leapdayrenee: Even if you DO need a “ten minute thing” legally where you live, it can still be done privately with just your witnesses. Though I’d just go with one of the ones that said you can essentially just sign the document and be done with it.
Post # 9
ICallHimFarmBoy: Luckly NY just requires one witness so we will find a random person to do it. I don’t have any close friends or family I would want there.
Post # 10
leapdayrenee: It totally depends on where you live. Where I lived there are certain legal things that MUST be said at a wedding ceremony, but it still only takes a few minutes.
I’m sure you don’t live in BC, but there the things that must be said are the ones in bold in this script: http://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/residents/vital-statistics/marriages/vsa718.pdf
In some states, such as CO, you don’t even need to legally have someone else marry you! Neat.
Post # 11
cbgg: Those are terrible lol.
Post # 12
we had the very basic for the legal part as we also wanted to do our vows without a stranger there – just a little bit more words than “do you, yes, do you, yes”. It was no big deal, though our officiant made a bit more of it than necessary. He really enjoys doing weddings, it seems, so wanted us to do a last kiss as bf/gf and first as husband/wife. We humored him, no skin off my nose. just tell the officiant/clerk what you want and they’ll do it, basically.
He also gave us a disgusting cookbook (think mix items from cans) with very bad poetry that he had written (including ones so obviously from his bad divorce many years before), so we’ll have that to entertain us for the rest of our lives.
Post # 13
leapdayrenee: It does vary on what the officiant HAS to say by law dependant on your state/county. But the only vows I had to answer was: Are you how do you do? Yes. Are you free to marry? I am. Will you take ‘husband’s name’ to be your husband? I will.
Then we had ring words but that wasn’t mandatory and you could do rings afterwards. I wanted the cop out version too!
Post # 14
Go with whoever’s answer you liked most. As long as the paperwork is filed properly no one is going to try to invalidate your marriage.
Post # 15
We legally got married by Elvis in Las Vegas on our Honeymoon. The minister and owner of the company (not Elvis) said, “Do you take him?” Yes “Do you take her?” Yes. At that point we were legally married. The Elvis ceremony was fun, but not the legal part.