Post # 1
i wasn’t sure what category i should post this in, so i went with destination.
i would be grateful for some advice!
Fiance is french, i am fully asian, and we both grew up in london, england. we have just got engaged and we have talked a lot about when/where to get married, and our plan so far is this:
we get legally married (sign papers) in london late 2013 (just a few months after i graduate from my masters degree & move in with him – we are currently long distance).
then we have the wedding in summer 2014 in france.
i think i am ok with this, and we can’t realistically get married any sooner than that (e.g. next sumer) and i feel our slightly longer engagement will be perfect since i want to focus on graduating, and i also still feel relatively young! (i am 24, he is 28.)
my only worry is this: if we get married 6 or so months before the wedding, will it make the wedding feel any less special? would it be strange to be getting married in front of our friends and family (it would be a genuine ceremony, not a vow renewal, since it will be in france and they have different rules etc.) while already really being married? and would/should we wear our wedding bands in those months inbetween?
thank you in advance for your input! 🙂
Post # 3
What do you mean in France they have different rules? Wouldn’t you legally be married by the time of your wedding? I would just do the legal wedding/ceremony/reception all together. Why are you considering getting legally married beforehand?
Post # 4
no, it won’t make your wedding less special.
Im from Mexico, and i got legally married the past November, but we will have the “actual” wedding (catholic ceremony) next year.
Post # 5
i dont know if it’s the same in france, but in mexico the “actual wedding” or what people care for the most is the catholic ceremony, not the legal one.
In order to be married by the catholic church you have to be legally married first.
Post # 6
@Anamagana: I thought the Catholic Church won’t perform a ceremony if you’re already married.
Post # 7
@redheadem: In some European countries you haev to sign the legal paperwork prior to the church ceremony. However this isn’t the case in England- the legal wedding would be the one they sign in the UK and the french wedding would be a vowel renewal by UK standards. A religious ceremony in France is not legally binding.
Post # 8
It wont if you were married by the church to someone before and want to marry another one.
But if you were single and it’s gonna your first Catholic wedding, you have to be legally married (with the paper signed and stuff)
That’s how it is in Mexico, i dont know in France.
Post # 9
No, actually in France a religious wedding holds absolutely no legal status, meaning that if you want to be married in the church you must also have a civil marriage.
Post # 11
@peonia: To answer your question OP- no the wedding wont be any less special to you unless you feel it is. Some guests may feel different. They may feel insulted to be invited to a destination vow renewal- it is a lot to ask of guests to spend their time and money when to them they are not actually seeing the wedding.
This would also depend on if your families are religious and the religious ceremony is the important part for them. But I would still question getting married so far ahead of the religious ceremony and so might they especially if religious!
Yes you will need to have a legal ceremony prior to a religious ceremony in France but I personally think the timing is important. can you not do the legal ceremony in the UK just before you leave?
Post # 12
Why not just wait and get legally married in France?
Post # 13
We are getting legally married September 2012 at the courthouse, then having a ceremony at the beach in June 2013. We will consider ourself married, but it won’t be any less special for us. Ours is a small affair with strictly family and the closest of close friends. Nobody is seeing it as any less special, in fact family from across the country we figured would skip out are planning to come.
Post # 14
We got married October 12,2011 at the courthouse. We are having our wedding october 12, 2012. It still feels special and Im super excited for it. The only thing is for the last year, I feel kinda married, but kinda engaged. Legally, Im married, but mentally Im not until our wedding. Its like being in limbo, but Im so excited about the wedding, I dont really think about it much.
Post # 15
I got married september 2011 in small chapel did the legal one but will be doing the “big” and christian ceremony in september of this year. Im still excited, nervous, anxious, angry, scared lol every feeling every other bride must feel when planning/having their wedding.
My husband and I do wear wedding bands already
Post # 16
@redheadem: anamagana pretty much covered it, but here in mexico the religious ceremony isnt legally recognised and so its always seperate to the legal ceremony – difference between being married in the eyes of god and the eyes of the law i suppose. And shes right – the catholic ceremony is the one that people think is important and you invite all your guests to, whereas often the legal bit with the judge is done with just the required witnesses (i think its 4 or more)/immediate family
so i will have 100 guests to my catholic ceremony, but just parents and witnesses when we sign the papers
the reason i would assume its something similar in france, is didnt they completely seperate church and state (possibly after the revolution, my history is a bit hazy!!) so i can understand why perhaps it might also be seperate. whereas in the US/UK you can have a religious ceremony thats legal. in that case i dont think anyone would find it strange