(Closed) Legal wedding now, white wedding next year???

posted 5 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@AndysCraftsNmore:  My Fiance is playing with the idea of going into the Air Force. If he does, we would have a legal marriage right before.


We would still stick with our June 2014 date. That’s our Christian matrimony. I don’t see it as “cheating” or “lying” as other bees do. I also don’t see it as a “vow renewal.”

Honestly, I’m not even saying any of my Christian vows the first time. All we’d be doing is signing some papers. Just because I’m married according to the state of Georgia doesn’t mean I’m married in the eyes of God.


Post # 4
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@AndysCraftsNmore:  There’s nothing wrong with having a small, private wedding now and having a big, public vow-renewal ceremony and reception with all of the trimmings next year. 

Post # 6
82 posts
Worker bee

@AndysCraftsNmore:  There’s a thread on this very topic with a really supportive community of bees over here http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/attn-legally-married-brides-and-wedding-at-later-date/page/7#axzz2XKDDaVto

Personally, I’m going for the legal wedding first and celebration later. I think it’ll take a tiny bit of stress off of the wedding (celebration) planning because the officiant is one less thing you have to worry about. We’re thinking of asking one of our good friends (the friend who is responsible for Fiance and I meeting in the first place!) to be our officiant stand-in for our celebration ceremony. 

Post # 7
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@AndysCraftsNmore:  A lot of countries make you do it that way. You must get the paperwork done at least a week before the wedding. I don’t think they consider them vow renewals. They’re weddings! I do not think it would take away the feel of it at all!

Post # 9
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We got legally married almost two months ago and are having our actual ceremony & reception in October. We’re moving next month and wanted to get all legal stuff out of the way before that (name change, Darling Husband just medically retired from the military so there’s a bunch of paperwork associated w/ that, etc), also because of the marriage benefits (I now have insurance, etc). It’s a lot more common than you think. When we told his family the plan, it turns out his sister did the same thing 🙂

Post # 10
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@AndysCraftsNmore:  Meh, like I said, as long as it’s a week (or 2?) before the wedding. Do you really want to deal with a bunch of paperwork and stuff the day of your wedding? Meh.

But we wouldn’t do a thing. No family, no fancy dress, no food, nothing. Just going to a courthouse to sign a piece of paper, as if I was paying a parking ticket. It’s simply to make my life easier. My wedding will still be in June. Sure I’ll have a marriage first, but a wedding is a celebration of a marriage, not something REQUIRED for a marriage!

Hell, if my birthday falls on a Wednesday, I’m still gonna celebrate it on a Friday/Saturday night! But again, it’s a celebration. It’s not like I won’t turn 23 if I don’t have the birthday celebration. 

Post # 11
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@AndysCraftsNmore:  Didn’t you post the same question in Beehive? 

It might help you out if you get rid of one of these threads– less confusion for everyone! Plus sometimes when people realize someone has posted the same thing in a few places, they can get unpleasant. The Bee can be great sometimes, but people can be highly disagreeable sometimes. 🙁

Post # 15
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@AndysCraftsNmore: Awww you’re welcome!

I’m sure my FI’s family will be too. My mom thinks it’s a fantastic idea. A lot of people do it in Greece because .. well.. paperwork is boring! Hahaha

Before the air force became a possibility, I considered taking care of that stuff a week or so beforehand anyway.

But yeah.. it’s just a party. I know that makes it seem too simple but.. All in all.. it’s just a party that’s celebrating something specific. With amazing food usually 😀

Post # 16
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Lots of couples marry legally for many reasons and then have a vow renewal with all the trimmings later. Nothing wrong with that.

I don’t understand calling such celebrations “weddings.” If a couple is already married, they cannot logically have a wedding again unless they divorced each other along the way. My husband and I refer to our vow renewal as our “wedding”, but only privately. Our wedding was on the day we got married. I wouldn’t dream of putting “wedding” on our invites since everyone knows we are already married.

Is it a big deal? It all depends on your guests and your family. My family is excited to see me in a wedding dress saying my vows.


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