(Closed) Legally married 3 years before ceremony ettiquette?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which of these invitation wording is the best?
    ... request your presence as we exchange spiritual vows on our third marriage anniversary : (3 votes)
    11 %
    ... request your presence for our long awaited wedding ceremony : (1 votes)
    4 %
    ... request your presence as we exchange vows to complete our marriage before God : (23 votes)
    82 %
    None of the above : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    3758 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I like the sound of the 3rd option. I don’t care if people think it is “tacky” but everyone deserves the chance to say the vows and have a wedding 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Wait so it wasn’t done just privately, everyone knows you’re legally married? Do you consider yourselves already married? Do you refer to each other as husband and wife? Because if it was nothing more than a legal certificate to you, then consider this upcoming wedding, your wedding, period! I think I prefer wording that leaves out anything talking about it being an anniversary.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2053 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I voted for option 3. I love your story and am so very happy for the two of you! Don’t let that awful word “tacky” come anywhere near your thoughts of your lovely day. Out. Of. The. Question. I think it is wonderful that you are doing this. It is beautiful. You are entitled to be the bride and celebrate your religious vows and love. Congratulations to you both and many blessings!

    Edit: I also think you’re entitled to a registry. You are still a young couple with many needs I am sure, and you now have a little one keeping you busy. A registry is understandable and I’m sure guests would appreciate the chance to help celebrate and know they got something for you to make life a little easier — I know I would.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee

    I like the third option, the one about “completing the vows before God.” I could totally respect that. I’d be leery of a registry, though…could look gift grabby. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @brideinwyoming: There is nothing wrong with that! Anyone who knows you will know that there were some unusual circumstances involved with the fertility and the baby, when it comes to the timing of all this. Obviously the spiritual aspect of marriage is something you value and very important to you, and again, anyone who knows you should know and understand that. Have your wedding and don’t let anyone get you down! By avoiding a registry (actually you may want to take it one step further and request no gifts), there is really nothing negative anyone should be able to say about it. Maybe remind them that you’re offering them a free meal and a party out of the deal. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    we’re in the same boat and using what we’d use if we were still engaged

    Post # 12
    Member
    162 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Maybe “We would like to invite you for our long awaited wedding.” Because it is your wedding, even if it is a bit delayed. 

    I think the “polite” way to word no gifts, is to not word it on the invitation. Put information for a wedding website, where you say “No gifts”. Or maybe instead register for a charity for blocked fallopian tubes?

    Post # 13
    Member
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We didn’t say vows for our legal marriage either. The wedding for us is very much what it sounds like yours will be for you. Congrats!

    I love the wording option 3. 😀

    Post # 14
    Member
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @brideinwyoming:wording:

    Your presence is the only present we want. (or something like this)

    Post # 15
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @brideinwyoming: I think HZ is right, about both points! I like the “long-awaited wedding” wording and agree with the reasoning. And I think she’s right that it is technically improper to mention gifts whatsoever on the invite, so get the word out in other ways, like the website or word of mouth.

    Post # 16
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee

    I like options 2 & 3. 

     

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