Post # 1
Member
15 posts
Newbee
*Warning long story*
I was friends with my DH for 6 years before we decided to date. We were always worried about ruining our great friendship. When we were both single again we had a few drinks and kissed. From that moment on we were a couple. After 2 months of dating he proposed. I knew I would have problems getting pregnant and saw a fertility specialist. I was told I had blocked fallopian tubes and it would be very difficult to become pregnant. We decided to quit using protection and I got pregnant the next month go figure. I was having a difficult pregnancy and wanted to quit my job so we decided to go to the county recorder and become legally married. We never said vows we just filled out an application. Anyway 3 years later we can finally afford to have the wedding. We are doing the full wedding bridal party and all. I know this in itself may seem tacky to people including my mother. However I want to have the experience and at the very least say vows.
So getting to my question how can I word the invitation to reflect that it is our 3rd anniversary but 1st time saying vows.
We are not registering for gifts but other than that is there anything I should do or not do to keep this from being the faux pas of the century in our small town?
Post # 3
Member
15 posts
Newbee
I didn’t make it clear before yes I do want to be a “bride” but I mostly want to have a religous ceremony and say vows!
Post # 4
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
I like the sound of the 3rd option. I don’t care if people think it is “tacky” but everyone deserves the chance to say the vows and have a wedding 🙂
Post # 5
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
Wait so it wasn’t done just privately, everyone knows you’re legally married? Do you consider yourselves already married? Do you refer to each other as husband and wife? Because if it was nothing more than a legal certificate to you, then consider this upcoming wedding, your wedding, period! I think I prefer wording that leaves out anything talking about it being an anniversary.
Post # 6
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
I voted for option 3. I love your story and am so very happy for the two of you! Don’t let that awful word “tacky” come anywhere near your thoughts of your lovely day. Out. Of. The. Question. I think it is wonderful that you are doing this. It is beautiful. You are entitled to be the bride and celebrate your religious vows and love. Congratulations to you both and many blessings!
Edit: I also think you’re entitled to a registry. You are still a young couple with many needs I am sure, and you now have a little one keeping you busy. A registry is understandable and I’m sure guests would appreciate the chance to help celebrate and know they got something for you to make life a little easier — I know I would.
Post # 7
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
I like the third option, the one about “completing the vows before God.” I could totally respect that. I’d be leery of a registry, though…could look gift grabby.
Post # 8
Member
15 posts
Newbee
It was done on my lunch break at 5 months pregnant partially because I wanted to quit my job and needed insurance and partially because I didn’t want to have a baby out of wedlock. We had been engaged for a while before we got pregnant so it would have happened one way or another. Everyone knows we are married and we have been “man & wife” however I feel like the religous aspect has not been met. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want the fairytale wedding also!
Post # 9
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
@brideinwyoming: There is nothing wrong with that! Anyone who knows you will know that there were some unusual circumstances involved with the fertility and the baby, when it comes to the timing of all this. Obviously the spiritual aspect of marriage is something you value and very important to you, and again, anyone who knows you should know and understand that. Have your wedding and don’t let anyone get you down! By avoiding a registry (actually you may want to take it one step further and request no gifts), there is really nothing negative anyone should be able to say about it. Maybe remind them that you’re offering them a free meal and a party out of the deal. 🙂
Post # 10
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
we’re in the same boat and using what we’d use if we were still engaged
Post # 11
Member
15 posts
Newbee
@littlemissmango: I was thinking of requesting no gifts, any suggestions on how to word that into the invitation?
Post # 12
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
Maybe “We would like to invite you for our long awaited wedding.” Because it is your wedding, even if it is a bit delayed.
I think the “polite” way to word no gifts, is to not word it on the invitation. Put information for a wedding website, where you say “No gifts”. Or maybe instead register for a charity for blocked fallopian tubes?
Post # 13
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
We didn’t say vows for our legal marriage either. The wedding for us is very much what it sounds like yours will be for you. Congrats!
I love the wording option 3. 😀
Post # 14
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
@brideinwyoming:wording:
Your presence is the only present we want. (or something like this)
Post # 15
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
@brideinwyoming: I think HZ is right, about both points! I like the “long-awaited wedding” wording and agree with the reasoning. And I think she’s right that it is technically improper to mention gifts whatsoever on the invite, so get the word out in other ways, like the website or word of mouth.
