Post # 1
Ok, so I need your advise!
My Fiance and I got engaged in Sept 2011. Origionally planned to get married in March 2012. Due to some financial problems we ran into we had to move the wedding to September 2012. After much thought we decided that we want to get legally married first, next week (yikes!) and then have a big party with all of our friends and family in September.
now the problem. This is where you guys come in…
I already asked my sisters and friends to be my bridesmaids and my fiance already asked his groomsmen. So, do we still have a bridal party? Do we tell them we wont need them anymore. Some of my bridesmaids already paid for the dresses. I need help! I don’t know what to do.
A little side note, we are not having a religious ceremony so we can’t even have a church ceremony ont eh day of the big party. please fellow bee’s give me your advice.
Post # 3
I would have the big party sooner, if I were you.
But either way, have the bridal party – it is still your wedding, this next week is just legal stuff!
Post # 4
@VickyAurea: Thanks 🙂
We will be having it in September because we ran into some financial trouble. my fiance lost his job a couple of months ago and just found one yesterday…yay!
Thanks for ur advise.
Post # 5
This is what we did–only we had to wait longer because we wanted a specific date! NO big.
Post # 6
We got legally married about 3 or 4 weeks before our “wedding” and most of our guests didn’t even know. We had a very simple JOP ceremony in our house (with our parents as witnesses) to get the legal stuff done, then had our big Destination Wedding in Jamaica with the dresses and the bridesmaids and the flower and all that jazz later that month. We didn’t hide that we got married first, but we didn’t advertise it either. I’m not even sure all my BM’s knew we were legally married at home before the wedding!
Post # 7
You don’t have to do the ceremony in a curch or anything. You can do one in the hall/ which ever venue the party is at. You can do basically a vow renual. That is if you still want to do a little ceremony.
If they already forked out the cash for the dresses then I would definitely do something like that. If one of my friends got me to buy a dress for their wedding and then canceled I wouldn’t be too happy…
Post # 8
im exactly in that boat. we are getting married legally dec 1/11 but our “party” is dec 1/12. but ours is a secret. nobody will know we are actually married. i think it would ruin things for the “real” ceremony.
Post # 9
my fiance suggested we got married now and still have the ceremony. but it seems to be it would kind of “ruin” the whole ceremony excitement. I know for one i wouldnt be able to keep quite about being his wife i will want everyone to know! so i feel if we were to do that people will not come to the ceremony we may as well just have a big party instead! so i feel where youre coming from! sounds like youre like me and by sep youre not going to really wanna do a real wedding.decisions decisions!
Post # 10
You can have the bridal party for pictures and they will still feel a part of your day which is the important part of it, I say do it.
Post # 11
i did the same as you!! my hubby (omg, first time seeing that in PRINT!) and i just got married this past Friday – city hall ceremony with our parents and his best friend as our witness, and photographers of course to capture the moment. we also live-streamed the whole ceremony via my iphone to my best friends (who would’ve been my MOHs) over on the west coast! it was great – whats not to love about having TWO weddings especially when its with the ONE guy you LOVE? we got to have our low-key city wedding and next year (also Sept) we will have our big party blowout 🙂
Plus, now I will get to have worn two beautiful white dresses… even though this one was just a simple cocktail dress, but with a kooky headpiece!
We told our close friends, but not everyone we know, obviously our families know, and next year we still plan on doing the whole walking down the aisle, bridesmaids and groomsmen thing… I’m sure we will feel just as special on that day! go for it!
Post # 12
Thanks so much ladies!
I feel a lot better.
@w3ndy: Wow, I was glad to read your comment. It made me feel better about the whole thing. I’ve been kind of down about the whole thing. Especially since everyone and their mothers think its a bad idea and a waste of time, nice huh? Anyway, We are paying for the wedding. It makes us happy and this is what we want to do. Like you said “whats not to love about having TWO weddings especially when its with the ONE guy you LOVE?” Could’nt agree more! Thanks again!
@Coffee cup: Thanks 🙂 I totally agree, Plus isnt it about having your close friends there for you on your special day to share with you?! Thanks again!
@trbickham00: Yes, lots of decisions. Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure it’ll be the right choice for you. We went ahead and got married at the court house, it was beautiful, just my hubby and I. We are still going to have our big party in Sept. We are calling it a vow renewal. And a BIG party after. We are going to have our Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen 🙂 Congrats and thanks for your help
@lilsweetie: I wanted to keep ours a secret too, but I couldnt help it and neither could my husband we were so happy that we just decided to tell people. Some people know others don’t. Either way, we will still have our big party in Sept. So excited
@PennyLainne: Thanks for your advise. That is exactly what we are calling it, vow renewal, making our elopement official. Our Bridesmaid or Best Man totally understand and were happy that they still get to be part of this. We are so non-traditional so, I guess this fits! thanks again.
@honeymead: Thanks, glad to hear Im not alone 🙂 Congrats!
@prettylizy: Thanks for your comment. again, so glad Im not alone in all of this. I feel a lot better. A lot of people think we are crazy for doing it this way, I guess a lot of people are stuck in their ways and dont think outside the box. Thanks again and Congrats!
Post # 13
We have to get legally married a few days before our wedding because our pastor cannot marry us in Quebec (We live in Ontario).
I think you can definitely still have a bridal party and a nice party!
Post # 14
@DeathByDesign: I agree! Thanks! Congrats BTW!!!