(Closed) Legally married before the Wedding? ideas?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: when does it make most sense to get married?
    legal marriage and ceremony on the same day, no honeymoon : (12 votes)
    18 %
    legal marriage the week before the ceremony, plus a honeymoon : (52 votes)
    76 %
    other (please let me know) : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7219 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @slcall:  I don’t think it’s a problem to do Option 2, however, will you be straightforward with your guests that you are already married and they are not seeing the “real” thing? I myself would not have a problem going to a wedding where the couple is not actually getting married, however, I know from reading various posts that the popular opinion is in the other direction. Most people seem to feel slighted if they think they are going to a wedding and then find out the couple is already married.

    Post # 6
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @slcall:  If you go with option 2, do you need to have a ceremony? I am in the other camp, I don’t really think I’d like sitting through a “fake” ceremony (meaning you’re already married and just going through the motions at the altar), so could you go with option 2 and just have a reception and nix the ceremony? I know it’s unconventional. I’m just thinking that whole “hooray, they just got married!” feeling will still be there, even without the ceremony. I’m sure your friends and family will still want to celebrate your marriage. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    That way, you get the anniversary date you want, you get to have (hopefully) your parents at the actual ceremony, you’ll have a celebration in Colorado, and you’ll get your honeymoon.. All while still accomplishing your school-related goals. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2780 posts
    Sugar bee

    @slcall:  I say just should just get married legally the week before and then get a honeymoon. It’s so much more convenient that way and you’ll appreciate getting that time away for a honeymoon. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    7219 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Ninteenthchance:  +1 

    Sorry I wasn’t sure how to answer your question since I don’t think that guests really need to know whether you are already married or not Smile  You said you don’t really even want a reception? Are your families insisting on that as well?

    Post # 12
    Member
    7219 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @slcall:  I would go with option 2. Medical school is a b*tch and you deserve to have a vacation with your new hubby if you can! I’ve been to tons of weddings where they went to the JOP a day or more before. I know a lot of bees feel like that’s “fibbing” but I don’t really see a problem with it at all. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I don’t see anything wrong with being legally married beforehand, especially if you’re basically just signing papers. My SO and I are already married (for complicated reasons not worth explaining), but aren’t planning on having an actual ceremony for quite some time. When we got married we just sat down with our officiant and signed the papers. Nothing special, nothing fancy, just signing documents. I want to have a special ceremony and the whole “real wedding” thing eventually so to me, the future ceremony will be my wedding.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7219 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @slcall:  Is there any way you can afford the wedding if it’s 20 people? Then, you could turn down their money and they won’t have much of a say. TBH, one of my biggest regrets is taking our parent’s money because our wedding turned into a HUGE event. If we hadn’t taken their money we would have been able to afford the small intimate event that we wanted originally.

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