(Closed) Legally married before the wedding, which anniversary do you celebrate?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Which date do you celebrate as your anniversary?
    Date of legal/civil marriage : (28 votes)
    34 %
    Date of non-legal wedding : (39 votes)
    48 %
    Neither : (3 votes)
    4 %
    Both, they are equally important : (12 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    caritas:  We’re going to celebrate the date we have our ceremony in front of our friends and family. We’re getting married in another country, so we’re doing the legal part at home for convenience either before or after. I just consider that paperwork though. The ceremony is when we’re making the real commitment, which is why we’ll use that date for our anniversary. Plus, I specifically picked our wedding date because it has meaning to us

    Post # 18
    Member
    1678 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    caritas:  we got married on 12/30/13 because of insurance and tax reasons, but didn’t even exchange words or rings or kisses, just a signed piece of paper! we did everything we could to make it “unimportant” so that our wedding day (5/3/14) will be our anniversary as that is the day we proclaim our love to one another infront of everyone we love!

    Post # 19
    Member
    11520 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    caritas:  doesn’t apply to me, but I’d go with the day that’s on my Marriage certificate if it did apply.

    Post # 20
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    conveniently we were legally married one year to the day before we will have our “wedding”. We didn’t actually plan it to work out this way, but it just happened. However, I say that the day your signed your marriage license is the day that you should go with, because after all, that is the legal document stating you’re married. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    caritas:  we got married legally a year before april something… hehe . right after he proposed because of health issues. he really needed to get things done and since we were already engaged we decieded to do it. my health insurance was changing by the time we were married so it was much much much cheaper this way… in fact free. so we kept it a secret and didnt do a thing for it, since we were having a large wedding the next year. may 10, but little by little people talked. i was worried people wouldnt really embrace our church wedding. but here it is a year after our church wedding. we celebrate may10 and its funny how many people dont even remember we got married civilly before hand. so they all remember may 10 as the day we truly got married too. that day ment more to me then the day we walked into the court, signed a piece of paper and 15 mins later left. the day we pronounced our undieing love in front of all our friends and family was the day we will always remember as truly becoming one.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1122 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We got lucky I guess and are having our wedding on the one year anniversary of when we were legally married,  so we dont have to choose. Lol. Worked out well for us! 

    Post # 23
    Member
    2123 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    Legally married in Nov, wedding this June, 7 months apart. I plan/hope to celebrate both, but I suspect that as the years pass on by the June one will be remembered more as it’s an easier date to remember and it’s engraved inside our rings! Plus neither of us ‘feel married’ yet, so June will be the ’emotionally married’ day (hopefully!).

    Post # 24
    Member
    2123 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    bsquared:  I’m exactly the same. I just consider my legal marriage yet another bit of paperwork. It was a huge pain to gather the documents because we needed translations and notarising done, then we had to dredge to another city, queue up at the city office, then go back to work. It was just a normal day with no emotional feelings, sadly. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    10452 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I’m kind of in this boat, but by accident. The registry office lost our paperwork (which we had signed at the wedding) so we have to meet up with our officiant again and sign new papers. Making our “legal” marriage about 7 weeks later the wedding. Where I live though, the only spot for a date is “when did the marriage occur” so we’ll just put our wedding date there even though we’re signing the second set of papers later. The signing date is of zero importance. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    4998 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Not a lot of people know that we got married two months before our wedding, and we had a big fancy wedding that was a billion times more special than the day we got married at the courthouse, so we will celebrate the wedding anniversary 🙂

    Post # 27
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    ChellFish22:  haha same thing happened to us. we didn’t plan it to happen that way either!

    Post # 27
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We discussed marriage, and the logistics of a wedding, in August of last year. In December we were legally married and that was before he actually got around to a proper ring-in-hand proposal. Our Main Event wedding wasn’t until last month. So he and I will celebrate both dates, the legal and the official, on our own. He has both dates engraved on the inside of his wedding band. They’re equally important to us. But we didn’t feel officially married until the wedding in March.

    Post # 28
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I have a friend with 3 anniversaries. She’s from another country so they got legally married about 5 months before the wedding so she could start the paperwork and find a job after graduation. Then they had her country’s traditional wedding ceremony. And then they had an American-style wedding. I’ve never asked her which anniversary they celebrate but now I’m curious.

    Post # 29
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    We were married legally last April. We were just married in the Jewish faith this past weekend (April 5th). The second wedding means more to us than the JOP wedding. The first wedding date will recognized since it was April Fools Day but it won’t be celebrated or anything. This wedding meant more because it was something that we shared with family and friends.

    I agree with everyone else. Choose a date that means more to you. Whichever ceremony you’d like to remember for the rest of your life is the one day you should celebrate. This is a call only you and your husband can make. If you want to celebrate both, who’s going to stop you? This is your relationship. You and your husband should decide how your union is remembered.

    Post # 30
    Member
    3378 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think if they were further apart, we would celebrate both – but we only celebrate our wedding date anniversary (not the day of our legal marriage).  We went to the courthouse to make it legal on Tuesday, then had our big wedding in front of all of our family and friends on Saturday.  We just did it this way because it was important to us that my father officiate (he used to be a minister, but is no longer legally ordained).  That is when we really considered ourselves married – the courthouse date was more just about the paperwork (although we did exchange simple vows then, and went out with our best friends for burgers and shakes after to celebrate) 🙂

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