- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Hi hive! I want to get your opinions, but first let me give you the backgrund on my fiance and I to get a better idea from where I’m coming from. 🙂
My fiance and I are engaged and have our date set for our wedding for September 17, 2011 (a year from now). We got engaged this past May and were originally planning for a spring (March ’11) wedding, but from a financial standpoint, decided to have our wedding later on so we could have our “dream” wedding. We already booked our venue and my parents, who will be paying for most of our wedding, have already been making payments on it. I am currently in my last semester of nursing school and will be graduating this December. My parents have always been strict with me, and the original plan was that I couldn’t even start dating until I was done with college. I almost made it… started dating my fiance over a year ago (he was my first boyfriend). Anyways, I never wanted to have a long engagement. I just didn’t see the point in it. We are both Christians and are trying to stay faithful to what the Bible says, but honestly, we’ve had sex, but we are trying out hardest not to. After I graduate, the plan was for me to move back in with my parents until our wedding day (from December to next September) since the only reason why I moved to where I live now was for school. My parents live about an hour away from the area in which we both live around, so it would be a drive to just see each other after that. Also, since I’ll be graduating in December, I’m planning on looking for a job around the area where my fiance lives (since I will obviously be living there too once we are married). So it would be about an hour’s drive just for me to get to my life (fiance, work, church, friends).
Now we are thinking that we just want to get married in December after I finish school. We would just get married at the courthouse to make our union legal, then are still planning on having our spiritual ceremony/renewal of vows/wedding party/whatever you want to call it- next September. So once I graduate and move out of my current place (lease ends in December), I can just move right in with him (we will not live together until we are married). We are trying to not have sex as I mentioned earlier, and honestly, with our wedding still a year from now, I feel like we’d keep sinning and having sex. Not that I’m trying to twist what the Bible says to fit my arguement, but it does say, “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9) We are going to talk to his family about it this weekend. His sister and her husband actually did the same thing (got married legally first, then had the wedding a couple months later). We are pretty sure his family will embrace the idea, even though it is a deviation from the original plan they were all expecting. But we are concerned about my parents. I called my brother and discussed it with him (he lives in another state) and he was not happy with the idea, thinking that we were rushing things and we didn’t have good enough reasons to get married sooner.
So…. I was just wondering what your opinions about this were… what do you think about a couple getting legally married first, then having the big celebration (ceremony, reception, etc- the whole nine yards) later on? We plan on having our immediate families and closest friends when we legalize our marriage at the courthouse, then all our family and friends at our wedding next year.