Post # 1
My FH and I are moving to Australia in 4 months for vet school. Legally we will have to be marrie din order for me to go with him. We are planning on legally getting married in a few days and then having our ceremony adn reception during his 3rd year in vet school. I am needing advince in regards to whether or not we should tell our parents and family about the situation. Im not sure how either parents will react if we were tell them we had to get legally married… I am scared that I will deeply hurt the people I love.
My FH and I know that this is just something we have to do in order to be together (there is no way I could live without that man for 5 years while he finishes vet school!). We would plan and try to have the ceremony and everything before we leave but financial it just is not duable for us to have our dream wedding.
Should we keep this legal marriage a secret or let our parents know about it?
Post # 3
I would think that your parents at least should know. A friend of mine married her husband in a hurry because he was being deployed. She had a very small ceremony in the church with just their parents and I think they had a Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man. A few years later, when he had returned, they renewed their vows in a more wedding-like ceremony, complete with reception, cake, and photography.
You didn’t say where you are living, or where your parents are living in relation to that, but is it doable that you could do either a small church-wedding or courthouse wedding that they attend?
Post # 4
@Miss Apricot: I am definately struggling with the issue of telling my parents. We currnetly live in Texas and both of our families live in Michigan. My FH has to apply for a visa immediately hence the rush on doing the legal vows in a couple days. I wouldn’t think there would be a way for them to be here for it…. thats why I am not sure if it even worth telling them since they almost positively wouldn’t be able to come.
I have thought long and hard about doing a smaller wedding ceremony with just parents and siblings, but again the darn time frame for the visa makes it impossible. This whoel situation was sucha surprise to us because we were unsure as to which vet school my FH was going to get into until last week. If we would have know we would be moving to Australia and would need to be legally married to do so, then we could have possibly done something small within the time frame.
I am worried if we tell our parents that they will be even more upset that they couldnt be here when we legally got married… thats why I’m considering keeping it a secret :-/
Post # 5
I think you need to tell your parents. Regardless of whether or not they will be upset, you are going to be married. You need to tell them the truth. What would happen if they found out later and knew you’d kept it from them?
Post # 6
If you’re old enough to get married, you’re old enough to tell your parents what’s up. Let them know it’s a practial thing, and that you’ll have a vow renewal when you two return. I think it would be way more hurtful to not be told. Good luck! And safe travels!
Post # 7
This was an old situation guys, she probably already made her choice. But I do hope she didn’t decide to keep it a secret, that’s no way to start a marriage. Maybe she’ll come back and update.
Post # 8
Being that they said it wasn’t for four months and had made no update, I felt the need to respond in case they hadn’t, as no one else had simply said to tell the truth.