(Closed) Legitimate question about this site – please don't attack me.

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 50
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

when you post something hat can be inflamitory and be taken as a personal offense things can and will get heated. this site is about weddings and plannign them so its safe to assume that saying anything that someone can read as “oh my god she is tallking about my wedding” especially if it is in a negative light then… well you are going to get everything from people nicely disagreeing with you, not commenting, or the blunter members who will straight up say whats on their mind. 

this place is a melitng pot of differing personalities and tastes. that plus the relative aynonimity allows people to express their true opinions on things and in different tones weather that be being very very nice or somewhat snarky

as for your previous post… if you post something that is copy and pasted from somehere else it would go a lot better if you would state in the post that you got it from X place and ask what you want about the topic instead of posting as it as your own. once you post it without putting it in a less derogitory form you take responsibility for the words weather you are the origional writer or not. because tone cannot be conveyed through text you do have to be a bit more careful about wording and how things can come across to an outside party

Post # 53
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@Mr. Bee:  But I don’t think I am super-snarky. Honestly. Part of being direct is not being snarky, not making personal attacks, and not making “funny” snide comments. And part of being direct is being able to say, even if everyone in the room disagrees, “I have a moral issue with this decision in general. Here are my reasons why I see that as morally wrong.” and then the other people are free to disagree, or even argue that that decision in fact is the moral choice, or what have you.

Post # 55
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

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@oneofthesethings:  I went through this when I first joined.  I remember thinking “what, I am a nice person.  I am not at all how they are acting toward me.”  Unfortunately, I accidentally rubbed a few bees the wrong way and they made sure that I paid the social consequences of it for quite some time.  After a while people did finally start seeing me different.  Hang in there, it will happen for you too.

Post # 56
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

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@joya_aspera: I totally back that.  I am super direct myself, as you may (or may not!) see above.

Post # 57
Member
9478 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

We encourage users to be able to comment without personally attacking another member regardless of the situation.  We strive for a happy, safe community because it is just that – the internet.  =)  There are many, many ways to write out a response.  It’s up to you how you want to present and represent yourself.  

I agree with Mr. Bee about being civil.  We’re all adults.  Everyone has their opinions and it’s always going to be hard to agree with such a diverse group of people.  The experience and learning from one another is great in itself.

Post # 58
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

This is all just stirring the pot.

Post # 59
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee

Well, I’m a long time bee who is on lurker status now and I feel where you are coming from. However, as a New Yorker, I will say that I was and will always be direct with folks but I always always try and keep it civil. Sure, I think some folks on here are way too sensitive especially when I first joined. However, now that I’ve been here for a couple of years, I realize that I love the action on the bee. I like how nice people are and how they can ‘keep it real’ without being rude or making folks feel bad. Of most wedding sites, especially ones with lots of women, I prefer this one. Folks are very complimentary and when you step out of line, they do tell you….usually in a nice way.

   However, I should mention that I have seen a couple bees in the last month or two that are so abrasive that even I, a long time bee, wonder how long they will be here because knowing how flag happy some ladies are, I don’t see these new bees lasting here if they don’t tone it down. Seriously, keeping it real does not mean being rude or snarky. Weddingbee is a welcoming community but you have to play by the rules!

Post # 60
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I do find that some bees tend to be overly sensitive. Also, I think some of us have too much time on our hands and are overly invested in what other people think, say or feel about them.

Of course, if someone is purposely being mean in any way to an individual bee directly, that is not cool. However, is a bee makes a general statement about something, just because it may relate to you remotely doesn’t mean you should take it personally and get offended as many bees do.

Post # 61
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s basic internet communication problems (much easier to judge/criticize someone you don’t see) combined with the subject matter. We’re talking about people’s lifestyles, people’s relationships, people’s weddings, people’s dreams, people’s marriages… So if someone’s beliefs don’t align with someone else’s, it’s easy to take it personally.

The topic ‘Legitimate question about this site – please don't attack me.’ is closed to new replies.

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