(Closed) Legitimate question about this site – please don't attack me.

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 122
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@sassy411:  You know I never thought of the statement “you’re too sensitive” as being the language of a controller but yes, I totally can see that.  I believe that is exactly why people react negatively and things escalate from there.  Everyone has the right to their opinions/feelings/etc. without being told that they are wrong (or too sensitive) for feeling that way.  Hmmmm….I will really have to apply that to real life as I have been known to tell people they are “too sensitive”.  Who am I to say that someone is reacting inappropriately? 

Post # 124
Member
9124 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

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@sassy411:  Well put!

Post # 125
Member
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

it’s a bunch of women posting anonymously on a messageboard. I’m not even surprised that people on here bite each other’s heads off. yes, I don’t have a very high opinion of a lot of women.

Post # 126
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Seriously, how hard is it to NOT be an asshole? I post on another forum, all ladies, and we don’t have this problem except once in a great while. It’s not that hard to express your opinion civilly, even if your opinion is a negative one.

Post # 127
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

I live my life by the idea that if 50 people all have a problem with me then I am the problem. If a long list of people feel offended by what you said, then you probably said it wrong and hurt people unintentionally or you were just rude. 

I feel like the world is full of people who were not raised to take accountability. 

 

Post # 128
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh and I was one of the many who flagged your old thread. I did it to ask the mods to ‘watch this thread’ as it had major potential to get out of hand…which it did. I have no problem flagging threads that I feel have the potential to become hornets nests. I flag USERS very rarely and when I do, I let the user know why. After so many posts, I am pretty protective about my haven that I use to avoid work. Ha. 

Post # 129
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

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@WillyNilly:  

Thank you for proving that some people were raised to have accountability! Today it seems like my life is full of people blaming others for their own mistakes. Gotta love working with people. lmao. 

Post # 131
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

From the first page:

@mrsSonthebeach

The worst is when someone asks for advice and then gets mad when you give it.

That drives me absolutely up the wall. And it’s always posts with the title, Am I Selfish?, or Am I Overreacting? and it almost always ends with “You’re all a bunch of jerks looking to rain on my parade and I’m never coming back to the Weddingbee”. Par for the course.

OP, I went and looked at your post history. I am assuming the post you are referring to was the 5 rules every bride should follow. I do think a few people took that WAY too personally, but it probably would have helped for you to either edit out the selfish jerk reference, or add a note that you were cutting and pasting and those weren’t necessarily your thoughts. I actually agree with much of the advice, but I can see how someone who had posted that they had done the same thing in a previous thread would have felt like they were getting called out.

I have been on both sides. I have given advice or responded to a thread and been called mean, and I have gotten responses to posts I started that I thought were way out of line. I do think about 95% of the responses people get are very nice, and if they are not positive, they are worded very carefully. The biggest blow ups I have noticed are when two very opinionated, blunt people get into it and then everyone else jumps in, or when the OP posts something clearly expecting one response, gets the opposite, and starts hollering.

I visit a lot of message boards though, and this is definitely the “nicest” one.

Post # 132
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I find it weird that after your thread was closed for violating rules of the board, rules you agreed to follow when you registered, and it was explicitly explained why your post violated those rules, you come back to make another post about how lame everyone else is for holding you to the standards you agreed to follow.

But whatever, maybe it’s just me being too sensitive.

Post # 133
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@oneofthesethings: After seeing it referenced so much here, I finally read the thread that I’m assuming is what prompted you to write this (the 5 rules thread), and I can 100% see why people were upset and offended. I really don’t think you can deduce that the Bees are a humorless, over-sensitive bunch based on the reactions to your post.

Now, if you are curious to know what in your thread may have triggered the passionate reactions, I’m happy to share my thoughts. But I strongly disagree with your assertion that because you received negative responses to your post, people on these boards must be over-sensitive.

Post # 134
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

[Dear Mods, please read the whole post before judging. If I’m still out of line here, then I’m truly sorry.]

Tact. Look it up because you’re obviously too stupid to comprehend the concept, let alone use it. If you knew what tact was, you wouldn’t have been flamed for your earlier post, and you wouldn’t have had to make this follow up post. 

See what I did there? I’m willing to bet you were hurt or at least a little offended. But it’s my opinion (not really thats an over-exaggeration) and I should be able to voice it without you getting mad and flaming me right back, right? Wrong.

The above was written in the same tone as your earlier post. Name-calling? Check. You called some brides selfish jerks for having multiple weddings. When that one military bride replied and had to defend her and her husband’s circumstances, I really felt for her. Language that makes me/you sound like arrogant a-holes? Check. 

You say that you just copied and pasted, but that’s either a cop-out or you really should have taken the time to introduce it in a way that said it wasn’t written by you and you just thought it’d be funny or whatever to share. Just watch how you say it next time; I’ve posted a few honest/blunt/unpopular opinions here and I have yet to be attacked for them (including a religious opinion which can be considered the touchiest of all subjects).

Post # 135
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@fzesguer:  I actually did find that post on the knot, so maybe the OP got it from there. However, it went over horribly there (and we are talking about the knot), so I don’t know why the OP thought it would be ok here. I mean, I found it funny and didn’t take it too seriously, but I tend to get less offended than most people. However, I do recognize that some people get more offended than others (understandably, we all have our perspectives shaped by our experiences), so I don’t even go there.

Post # 136
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@Bellagiobride:  Yeah I finally took the time to actually read the whole thread and I see the OP said that in retrospect she really should have acknowledged she didn’t write it. Now I feel bad by saying it might have been a cop-out. *sigh* I’m really not good at this mean girl stuff. 

Also, I avoid the Knot if I can. They can be pretty vicious over there. Wedding planning is stressful enough, I don’t need the added drama/politics.

And ditto on the not wanting to “go there.” If I can’t formulate a nice enough reply I just don’t. Especially with emotional/dress/waiting posts. 

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