Post # 1
I need your advice on a situation. I’ve had this friend for a year, a girl I met in the city I moved to last year. She’s a nice girl and we hung out a lot, but she’s been low on cash ever since I’ve met her. She works selfemployed, doing small projects that don’t make a lot of money, and on top of that she has a live-in boyfriend who doesn’t work, plus a dog, so she’s paying everything for the three of them. She has kind of weird spending habits, like almost always when I ask here if she wants to for a drink or dinner somewhere she says no because she doesn’t have any money (instead we cook at my or her place), but at the same time she bought herself a brandnew macbook two weeks ago (she said she needed it for work, I said she could also go with a cheaper brand but she didn’t want to), the iphone 6 a couple of months ago, a two day trip to an expensive hotel with her boyfriend (160$/night) Etc.
Anyways, now she’s asking me if I can lend her 800$. She says she will pay me back 200$ every month. I don’t know, but I really think I shouldn’t lend her money. I feel like she’s always broke, and she doesn’t know how to handle money. I’m worried she won’t be able to pay me back, and I also don’t want to support her behaviour. On the other hand, she’s a friend and I have the money.
What would you do? Thanks
Post # 2
I would personally say that I could not afford to be without that mount of money right now (use the holidays as an excuse if need be). Lending money to friends is ALWAYS tricky, and it sounds like she is bad with money.
At first I wanted to say that maybe she declined the outtings knowing she was saving for the laptop she needed for work, but it sounds like she has her priorities mixed up. Saving for expensive things/trips you want is not bad, but to do that, then be short $800 (that is alot of money), is not responsible.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2017 - Bahamas
I may be biased because I’ve been burned in the past but I wouldn’t do it. I gave a very good friend of mine a loan durning school. She needed it to continue in the program or her classes would be dropped for lack of payment. It was ~$800. Which at the time was a lot of money for me but I didn’t want to see her get dropped out of her program that she was working so hard in. She promised that she would pay new back over time and definitely have it all paid back once we graduated. I still haven’t seen that money… Which is bizarre because she’s going away every other week with her bf and we’re 3 years out of school. We’re no longer friend By The Way.
Maybe if it was $80 I’d day so it because you can more easily recoup that but $800 is a lot to be burned on. Especially because you’ve seen her being irresponsible.
Post # 4
If you don’t have it to lend with the risk of not getting it all back I would say to not do it.
Post # 5
dalia88: When lending to friends and family you should give it with the expectation that you’ll never get it back again.
But if you can’t afford it, just don’t.
Post # 6
Personally, I would take her spending habits out of the equasion and look at if you A. have $800 to part with B. are willing to give it to her and never see it again. I only “lend” money to friends that I don’t need, no mater what their personal situation is. I never expect to see money back that I “lend” to a friend. For me, unless it’s a close relative with a specific named need (ie niece or newphew was in the hospital and they didn’t have the co-pay on hand, or major home disastor and they needed to reapair but could not front the cash), $800 is too pricey.
Post # 7
I lent a friend $500 and saw only $40 of it, I have not talked to her for about 5 years now. And no, she is not my friend now. She can keep the $460 as a gift as I will never see it.
If you want to lend her that money, draw up a contract, and get a lawyer to sign it up. Then you can feel like you are not just flushing it down the drain if she does skip out, because you can go to small claims court if necessary. Of course, you can tell her once she has proven trustworthy and paid this loan on time like she says, you can stay friends… But NEVER lend any money out without a contract of the re-payment schedule, If $200 bucks is too much, make it $100 to make it easier and more affordable for HER to repay you.
Post # 8
If she isn’t someone that you’d gift that amount to, I certainly wouldn’t lend it to her. I think you need to approach any loan to a friend or family member with the assumption that you won’t get the money back and think about how you’d feel if that actually ends up happening. Go with your gut on this one.
Post # 9
NO! DO NOT LEND THAT GIRL MONEY!
Post # 10
Also, if she’s self-employed she can write the compter & phone off on her taxes, you should tell her that. I’d also suggest she tell her boyfriend to get a job.
Post # 11
Meh, I got burned twice lending money to my brother. Once was something like $3-4k for a used car, I only saw a part of it back (mother guilted me into lending it to him). The second time was a couple of years ago, he was out of work and his cat needed emergency care. It was either lend it or let the cat suffer and die. Out of that $1500.00 I may have gotten $1k back.
It’s always a risk lending to friends and family.
Post # 12
I don’t think I would even lend my closest friend $800, let alone somebody that I’ve only known a year. I have a friend that has terrible spending habits, where she says she’s broke all the time, but bough a MacBook Pro using the “pay later” option and her exact words will, “At least I don’t have to pay for it now and get the enjoyment of using it immediately”. She sounds like your friend mentioned here, which even though she says she will pay you back…who knows if she will.
Post # 13
Thank you guys. I would lend my parents money without hesitating, and not even expecting them to pay me back. But they are my parents. I’d lend money to very good friends, but most of my friends have stable jobs and aren’t constantly broke, so I would be sure that they’d pay me back, even if it takes a few months. But yea, what concerns me about her is that her spending priorities are really weird. As I said, she seems to have money to buy every Apple product that’s on the market, but she never has money to go out for a beer and constantly complains that she’s broke. Her dad has even paid her rent in the last couple of months. I also wish her boyfriend would just get a job, but she always says that he’s still looking (he’s been looking for more than a year now and apparently he feels ‘overqualified’ to wait tables or so). Maybe I should just go with ‘Sorry I also don’t have the money because I just spent money for X’. I feel a bit bad about it though, because I know that it’s a constant struggle to be low on cash.
Post # 14
NO NO NO!! Some reasons why, learned from experience:
How will you like seeing her spend that $800 on iffy purchases? Think how that will make you feel towards her. Why set yourself up for judgement?
How will you like seeing her become distant from you, out of guilt?
How will you like knowing that you’re behaving like a parent–a bad parent–towards her? People with bad spending habits should learn that there are CONSEQUENCES. It’s a hard lesson for anyone to learn, let alone people who have enablers.
She has a macbook?? WHY not give that $800 to a decent charity? Or tell herto register as one??
Bottom line: BANKS are where a person goes to borrow money, and if the bank won’t lend her that money, there’s likely a GOOD REASON.
Please people, don’t lend money out!!!!!
Post # 15
dalia88: only lend a friend money if you dont expect it back. You’d basically be giving her the money. If you can’t get in that mindset then DONT DO IT.