(Closed) Lending money.

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: Have you ever lent someone money?

    No, never! And I wouldn't!

    No, but I have given money to a family member

    No, but I have given money to a friend

    Yes, and my family member paid me back

    Yes, and my friend paid me back

    Yes, but my family member never paid me back

    Yes, but my friend never paid me back

    Other

  • Post # 18
    Member
    9967 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ve loaned enough people money in the past to have learned the lesson that if I can’t afford to give money as a gift, I can’t afford to loan it.  Been burned by friends and family members alike.  I now prefer to give rather than make loans.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1812 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I recently inherited a good chunk of money, around the same time a close family member’s family got hit with a lot of unexpected costs at once (pre-planned valentines day cruise, followed by unexpected big vet bills, a car accident, a *different* car completely dying, and other various things popping up at the same time. I loaned him the money to cover a large credit card bill and he is paying me back over the course of about a year. So far he’s been fine with payments but I wouldn’t have lent it if I couldn’t afford not getting it back.

    Post # 20
    Member
    6114 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I actually have never been asked for money, so therefore I have never lended money to anyone.  I don’t think I would actually.

    Post # 21
    Hostess
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I always “lend” money with the intention of never getting it back.  If I do, great, if not, I don’t allow myself to get upset over it.  I’d never lend more money than I can afford to lose though.  Just my $.02 on the subject.

    Post # 22
    Member
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @BoxerLady:  I generally believe the rule that if you lend money you consider (in your head) that it is a gift because you may not get it back. However, my sister & I have lent money back & forth our whole adult lives and at one point I lent her several thousand dollars that I absolutely needed back. She was struggling at the time and it took her a very long time to pay it back, but she eventually did. The time in between, though, was stressful.

    I also lent a friend a significant amount of money. He borrowed something like $100 once, said it was for a week and paid me back before then. Later, he asked to borrow more than a thousand. Because he had been responsible the first time, I did it and he paid me back early again. So that was awesome. Two years later my car broke down about 30 minutes away from him and I didn’t have AAA, so guess who called in a favor? 🙂 Worked out all the way around. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I have lent a lot of money to my Fiance and so have my parents… We always pay my parents back, but usually I would not make Fiance (then boyfriend) pay me back. I knew he needed help; and in the end we would end up together anyways. Whats mine is yours!…

     

    I have lent money to my parents (when their check card was frozen for fraud) and was paid back.

     

    Other than that no I have lent money to friends. I would though, but not expect it back.

    Post # 24
    Member
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I answered “other” because while I have lent money to friends, it has never been an amount that I would miss if it were never paid back.  I.e., I’ll cover a friend if we’re ordering take-out, but I won’t cover them for a plane ticket.  

     

    I have never been asked for money by family, but I know it’s something that happens within my FI’s family.  He has lent relatively small amounts of money to two of his siblings, and vice versa, but I don’t think they stress over paying back the exact amount within a certain time frame.  They’re close and assume that it will all work out in the end.  We’re talking my FI’s own money, here, not “our” money, so I try not to concern myself about it.  He does talk to me about it, though, and I would discourage him if it were a large sum of money that would greatly inconvenience/hurt his own financial situation.  If anybody ever needs that much money, they really shouldn’t be asking us, the 26/27-year-olds living in a 1bdrm apartment with a 16-year-old car and a wedding to pay for.  They should be asking the older and more well-off family members, even if it’s uncomfortable for them.

     

    I agree with what people are saying above – when somebody asks for money, consider it a gift instead of a loan because you never can be sure that you’ll get it back, and never lend/give out more money than you can comfortably afford to.

    Post # 25
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think most people have done this with a small amount of money.  I know I have both loaned and given money when a wallet’s been forgotten, or a place only takes cash and someone had planned to use debit/credit.  Sometimes a friend will pick up tickets so I owe them for those.

    I’ve never loaned a large amount, but there was a period of time where it was a possibility for family, and I would have done it.  They had the money to pay us back but it was just wasn’t immediately accessible.

    Post # 26
    Member
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I gave my best friend $500. She was managing a chain beauty salon and her bosses treated her terribly and she was very underpaid. She has always had the dream of getting her own chair at a private salon but could never afford it. When my mom died she asked if she could borrow some money to get her own chair. (She knew I had a bit of insurance money from her death). I knew how much it cost her to ask, and her and my mom were very close, so I just gave it to her. She swears she’ll pay me back one day, but I don’t expect it or want it- I view it as a gift from my mom. She would have wanted to help her if she was able and I am happy to help my friend succeed and finally be able to have the career she’s always wanted.

    Post # 27
    Member
    923 posts
    Busy bee

    my sister and I lend eachother money all of the time, and it’s no problem. neither of us has ever borrowed more than $500 from the other so it helps that it’s an amount that can be paid back fairly easily. I have a friend that I have lent money to twice and both times it’s been a pain in the ass getting her to pay me back, so i’ve decided no more lending money to friends unless I know they are super responsible. I’ve alo borrowed money from two of my friends and paid them back within a month, but that was years ago.

    Post # 28
    Hostess
    11164 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I have covered friends in times where wallets were forgotten or they were short on cash usually with them covering me later on, so in essence yes they paid me back.

    I am highly against lending large sums of money to family or friends for the reasons explained by all the PP. Mixing money with relationships often brings more drama than it is worth.

    Post # 29
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I never lend money, but I would give it to someone with no expectations of ever seeing it again. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’ve only lent Fiance money and he’s always paid me back.  I voted family because he is soon to be family 🙂

    Post # 31
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I loaned my best friend money many years ago.  I love her to death, and I know she had a LOT of other crap going on in her life at the time, but she never paid me back.  Thing is, I would have given it to her if she asked instead of “loaning” it to her.  So I’m not fussed, and she’s done plenty for me since then that made up for it in my mind.  But I still wouldn’t loan to friends unless I was totally fine with never seeing that money again.

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